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Una Mullally: Women denying their abusers darkness they crave

Irish comedy and trad the latest industries caught up in a moment of epic truth-telling

Over the past few weeks, many Irish women have been detailing their experiences of sexual harassment and abuse in various sectors, including but not limited to the comedy industry and the traditional music scene.

In the 21st century, the first draft of narrating personal experience emerges on social media. It can often be an unfiltered, unedited, messy, triggering and frightening flow of information, trauma, allegation and response. But the compulsion to tell one’s story, to seek support and solidarity and to expose wrongdoing is a valid one.

It’s also very often not a first resort, but the consequence of a lack of avenues to lay out our truths. For those scared of such truths, it can feel dangerous, reckless or inappropriate. But it’s the experiences of abuse that are dangerous, reckless and inappropriate. Without a proper space – and we’re all struggling to figure out what that is, particularly when the legal system is often inadequate – to hold these stories, we’re left with strands of pain finding their way into the public sphere. And then what?

The gravity of the sadness that women feel about other women who have been worn down by sexism, gaslighting and harassment is monumental

We have to address the issues encountered by what seems like countless women who have struggled to gain access to an industry such as comedy, which is largely controlled by, overseen by and populated by male performers and gatekeepers. The gravity of the sadness that women feel – not just in the industry, but collectively – about other women who have been worn down by sexism, gaslighting and harassment, who never achieved what they should have in their careers, is monumental. Women have been overlooked and passed out by men who were able to tap into a network and career pipeline without even realising their privilege and unearned access, or sometimes using their gender to make gains and marginalise women, or sometimes harassing women out of the industry. Ultimately this has caused the departure of many women from the industry because there are so many obstacles placed in front of them by men.

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Societal problem

Harassment of women in this way is not just an entertainment industry problem. It’s a societal problem. But it’s clear that in sectors with legacy and contemporary structures of male power, that are intensely hierarchical and have a gatekeeper culture, and where success is about access to power, opportunities, networking, favours and clubbiness, women suffer greatly.

As waves of the #MeToo movement ebb and flow, experiences are often segmented by industry. It’s a narrative that allows us to categorise where abuses occur and to create narratives around specific industries that have “an issue”. The cascade of stories of pain and abuse from Hollywood, for example, positioned sexual harassment and abuse as something oriented around the casting couch, which is true. What’s also true is that stories can “land” more effectively if survivors and perpetrators are well-known. We hone in on individuals, but this often creates a false specificity, tying abuse to a bogeyman, not a society. Of course it may lead to consequences and closure, but time and time again, societies everywhere seem reluctant to address the systemic and all-encompassing nature of violence, abuse and harassment of women.

Why should younger women have to navigate and deal with the same abuses of power their mothers did?

There is something unusual happening at the moment, perhaps related to how much reflection time people had during lockdown. We are in a moment of epic truth-telling. The frustration people feel about injustice – racism, abuse – not being addressed is erupting. Younger generations are rightly impatient. If we know something to be wrong – racism, abuse – then why are we so incapable of addressing it head on? Why should such blatant injustices necessitate only an incremental approach that often seeks to dampen and delay, rather than expose and solve? Why should younger women have to navigate and deal with the same abuses of power their mothers did? And why should men put up with such abuses of power too? Men need to create spaces in discourse where they can assert themselves against such toxicity, and work together to address it. This is a space men themselves must claim. I don’t know what that looks like, but it needs to happen.

Due process

I understand why many people feel squeamish and scared about shocking stories flowing through Twitter feeds. What about due process? What about defamation? What about false accusations? What about “both sides”? Yet constantly framing harassment and abuse in relation to criminality and the legal system’s sole capacity to deal with it does not address the fundamentals of damaging behaviour. All it does is hypothesise about consequences, which most of the time never come to pass. The legal system does not magically protect victims, in fact very often it utterly fails them.

It shouldn't be up to survivors and people who have been victimised to flick the switch

Abusers, harassers, gropers, rapists, groomers and bullies flourish in the dark. They rely on silence, on secrecy, on shame, on shadows. It shouldn’t be up to survivors and people who have been victimised to flick the switch. That’s a heavy burden and a huge responsibility. But when all else fails – and despite progress, the failings across industries and society are still large – sometimes it can feel like the only recourse: to say it out. If women have been harassed off the stage, perhaps the only option left is to turn the spotlight on themselves. It’s up to all of us not just to watch on, but to act.