A survey suggests that the institution of marriage is in better health than some would have us believe, writes Bishop Willie Walsh.
The survey commissioned by Accord and carried out by Amárach consulting presents an encouraging picture for those of us who are concerned about the wellbeing of marriage.
The study focused on the first seven years of marriage and I believe that it provides a timely antidote to a creeping trend towards presenting the lifelong loving relationship which is marriage as being in something tending towards terminal decay.
This trend has been gaining momentum over the past decade among some media analysts.
Commentary on the recent census figures, for example, focused almost totally on the news that the divorce rates were up by 70 per cent over the past four years. In fact, Ireland continues to have one of the lowest divorce rates in the western world. The fact that the number of couples entering marriage in the past four years continued to increase - albeit with an increasing population - received little attention.
Accord, an agency of the Catholic Church in Ireland which works to help couples initiate, sustain and enrich their marriages, has in the past three years alone listened to, engaged with and helped 150,000 clients through its marriage preparation, counselling and schools programmes.
Accord's survey showed that the marriage rate (which adjusts for a growing population) has actually increased in the last 10 years. It indicates with absolute clarity that couples view their marriage as a lifelong commitment only to be broken in extreme circumstances.
Not surprisingly, the survey shows evidence of an increasing trend towards cohabitation before marriage. However, the modern couple see this as a form of deferred marriage, driven perhaps by economic circumstances, price of houses and cost of weddings as much as anything else.
This research indicates that 70 per cent of married couples are very happy with life in general, while 77 per cent are very happy with their marriage and 86 per cent would recommend marriage to another couple. It is refreshing to observe that two-thirds of couples feel that their relationship has strengthened since they married, with the main benefits for them as individuals being love, fulfilment, family security and companionship.
Parenting undoubtedly presents the biggest challenge. While in the early years married couples have few problems in getting time for themselves, only three in 10 of those couples married seven years managed to take time out together once a week or more. However, instead of thinking of capitulating or running away, 98 per cent of couples interviewed would marry the same person again, while only 7 per cent had thought about separation and divorce.
While one in four couples surveyed described themselves as "not at all religious", the majority claimed to be "moderately religious" and attended religious services either regularly or occasionally. These figures indicate that while religious practice has declined among young couples, the scale of the decline is not as extreme as sometimes suggested. This is surely a source of encouragement to us priests who are involved in the pastoral care of marriage as a sacrament.
I believe that Ireland is unique in Europe in its commitment in our Constitution to guard with special care the institution of marriage, on which the family is founded. All of us will benefit from a society which truly cares for marriage and family. Loving families are not only good for the members of the family, they also contribute significantly to the wellbeing of our whole society.
Bishop Willie Walsh is president of Accord.