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Miriam Lord’s week: Fine Gael’s mortifyingly cheesy general election videos hit Rock bottom

Noel Rock appreciation video sees Paschal Donohoe gush there is now ‘only one Rock in my life’ as the Dwayne Johnson fan praises his FG colleague

Paschal Donohoe stars in the worst Noel Rock appreciation video so far as the party churns out cheesy general election candidate videos. Photograph: Alan Betson
Paschal Donohoe stars in the worst Noel Rock appreciation video so far as the party churns out cheesy general election candidate videos. Photograph: Alan Betson

During the local elections, against some stiff competition, Fine Gael cornered the market in mortifyingly cheesy candidate videos.

They’re at it again.

With the official general election campaign just weeks away, the party’s excitable creatives are cranking up their output of promotional bilge. They’ve been churning out Noel Rock appreciation videos ever since the former TD for Dublin North West announced he is running again.

One of them features the Taoiseach enthusiastically pressing the flesh in a shopping centre. Happy out. Plenty more of that in prospect.

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Paschal Donohoe stars in the worst one so far.

The Minister for Public Enterprise and the candidate are filmed standing at what looks like the entrance to a housing estate.

Paschal addresses the camera. Noel doesn’t say a word until the very end.

“So when I was a younger man The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, was a real hero of mine. Whether it was Summer Slam, WrestleMania, Jumanji, Fast and the Furious – I had to give Baywatch a miss – he was always somebody I really admired.”

No, really.

“But now, there is only one Rock in my life, the man I want to support, and that is Noel Rock, the man here beside me. When I worked with him in Dáil Éireann, he was an exceptional TD.”

Noel is rooted to the spot, more of a plank than a rock.

“There’s no need for Summer Slam, no need for WrestleMania, this is the man. Give him your number one vote.”

It’s just so moving.

“Thank you very much, Paschal, I really appreciate that,” simpers Noel.

At this rate, there won’t be a sick bag left in the country by the time the election proper gets under way.

Kate O’Connell hits GoFundMe target as she takes Independent path

Running a campaign is a very expensive business. The political parties and established Independents have been busy bulking up their election war chests well in advance of the contest.

Returning prodigal Kate O’Connell seemed nailed on as a Fine Gael candidate when she made a triumphant and very public return at the party’s ardfheis in Galway earlier this year and was warmly welcomed back into the fold by the new party leader.

So there was much surprise when she poured her heart out to the Sindo’s Fionnan Sheahan recently having apparently “rejected” the Taoiseach’s invitation to run for the party in Dublin Bay South.

Among other things, she said she didn’t want to be the “sweeper” for another candidate and announced she was launching a solo run as an Independent.

Fine Gael was quickly out of the blocks in response, insisting that while there had been some discussions with Kate and other potential candidates, she was not asked to run.

By going it alone, the former TD, who runs a successful pharmacy group in South Dublin with her husband, loses out on the funding and support network routinely available to party candidates.

To help defray her costs she recently launched a GoFundMe page “Help Kate Get Elected” with a target of €10,000.

On Friday evening, just under two weeks after it was set up, Kate had exceeded her target with the total standing at €10,180 after 30 donations.

Mary Newman, who unsuccessfully contested the last election for Fine Gael in Tipperary and is one of Kate’s three sisters, made the first contribution. The money is being put to good use already with the large display windows in the Rathgar pharmacy wrapped in eye-catching pictures of the candidate and appeals for a number one vote.

Meanwhile, Emma Blain, who was added to the Fine Gael ticket in Dublin Bay South alongside Dublin Lord Mayor James Geoghegan, has posted a photograph on Instagram of herself and Lucinda Creighton looking like the best of pals.

Lucinda, another former Fine Gael TD in the constituency, had an intense rivalry with O’Connell.

It’s going to be a fascinating election.

Is Mattie McGrath in the doghouse?

Barney, an 11-year-old rescue dog, is friends with lots of people in Leinster House. He belongs to the People Before Profit TD, Bríd Smith, who often brings him to work.

They have a routine. Barney has his own bed in the back of Bríd’s van and when he is on Oireachtas duty, he sleeps in the van between walks around Stephen’s Green and Merrion Square. He also likes strolling around the plinth when Bríd and her colleagues are out talking to the media.

She says he is in with her a lot these days because the Halloween bangers are going off in Ballyfermot all the time and he gets very upset and frightened when it happens.

Their relationship has not gone unnoticed by Mattie McGrath, the Rural Independent TD who is a passionate supporter of the greyhound industry and vehemently disagrees with her contention that greyhound racing is a cruel industry which should not be given Government funding.

While defending the industry, Mattie loses no opportunity to question Bríd’s animal welfare credentials. It happened again on Tuesday when the Dublin South Central TD wasn’t in the chamber.

“She comes to this House most days with a dog in the van in hail, rain, snow or hot weather. I’d love to bring my dogs to Dublin but I could not mind them here. I wonder where the animal cruelty is in that.”

Word got back to Bríd and on Wednesday morning, she rounded on Mattie in the canteen, tearing strips off him for accusing her of being cruel to Barney. She called him “a nasty man” and said she wasn’t going to let the matter rest.

“I want people to know what sort of a bowsie he really is,” she said afterwards.

She lodged an official complaint with the Ceann Comhairle.

“I am writing to you following remarks Deputy Mattie McGrath made in relation to my dog (Barney) yesterday. Unfortunately, it is at least the third time the deputy has referenced my dog, inferring that I am cruel to animals, or Barney at least.

“You may be aware, my party has a long history in campaigning for animal rights so the deputy’s repeated remarks are unfounded, personal and completely incorrect, and I would like for him to withdraw his remarks and refrain from repeating them, and would like the Dáil record corrected. I am including links to the deputy’s comments below, starting with the most recent.

“I would be very grateful for your assistance in this matter.”

This is an unusual one for the Ceann Comhairle as normally complaints refer to people, not animals. However, it may fall into his remit because of the implied mistreatment of an animal by an Oireachtas member, in which case he could refer it to the Committee on Procedures for adjudication.

Collie-springer cross Barney, who is an unemployed sheepdog originally from Leitrim, declined to comment yesterday as he was eating a bone.

Hiroshima mayor’s address marks important moment for Seanad

The mayor of Hiroshima addressed the Seanad on Thursday.

“I am delighted to be able to visit Ireland for the first time” Kazumi Matsui told the Upper House. “It is a country of art and culture, rich in greenery and nature. It is also a great pleasure to visit Leinster House, which has witnessed Ireland’s history of hardship and success over many years. Having experienced hundreds of years of hardship, the people of Ireland can understand the pain of others and have a particularly strong desire for peace.”

He said the atomic bomb that devastated Hiroshima city in 1945 “is not only the reality of history; it is also the reality of the present”. Inhabitants of the city are still suffering the aftereffects.

In 1982, the then mayor of Hiroshima, created Mayors for Peace. It is now a worldwide network with more than 8,400 cities involved. The movement is committed to the abolition of nuclear weapons and the goal of lasting world peace.

The visit was an important moment for the Seanad and a chance for Senators to show their support for the people of Hiroshima and for the cause of nuclear disarmament and peace.

About a dozen Senators turned up to hear him speak.

On Friday, Ceann Comhairle Seán Ó Fearghaíl hosted a signing ceremony in the Leinster House Library Reading Room. A total of 21 mayors and council leaders from around the country signed up to the initiative.

“The importance of this initiative and the promotion of peace in an ever more dangerous world cannot be underestimated,” said O’Fheargail, who led an Oireachtas delegation to Hiroshima last year. “The Mayors for Peace organisation was founded to bring people together in the face of adversity, and we must continue in our work to build a better future for all.”

Simon Harris has a cuppa with Oireachtas catering team

The Taoiseach turned the table on members of the Oireachtas catering team on Tuesday when he invited them to his office on the ministerial corridor for a good look around and a cup of tea.

Restaurant manager John Walsh and head chef Julie Lyons headed the group, which included chefs, waiting and general staff.

Simon Harris gave them a guided tour of his offices and posed for photographs before pouring the tea and coffee. “It’s my turn,” he told them.

“This is the first time this has ever happened, as far as I know. There are people here who are 25 years in the job and they never once saw the ministerial corridor or where the Taoiseach actually works. We don’t come up here with the food, somebody comes down for it,” said a staff member afterwards.

The catering staff come from all corners of the world. Some of them couldn’t get over the fact that they were having their picture taken with the Taoiseach in his office, proudly sending them back home the first moment they could.

Pastry chefs Tony O’Brien and Lillian Murano presented him with the first Oireachtas Christmas puddings of the year. Simon wondered why he was getting them now. Did they not think he would be back?

He showed them the Taoiseach’s diningroom, which is seldom used these days. And Lyons, who has been feeding politicians in Leinster House for 34 years, was able to show him the small kitchen attached to it. He didn’t know it existed.

“It got a lot of use in Charlie Haughey’s time,” she said.