As if Friday wasn’t painful enough for the Liverpool faithful, Sky Sports News only went and soundtracked a montage of Jürgen Klopp’s most memorable moments at the club with the tear-jerking, lighters-in-the-air power ballad that is Wind of Change, the hit parade-topping tune from the last century by, appropriately enough, German rockers Scorpions.
The song, by the way, is the 17th best-selling single of all time, just behind the likes of I Will Always Love You, My Heart Will Go On and You’re the One That I Want, and just ahead of Time to Say Goodbye, The Last Farewell and Un-Break My Heart. Sky was probably tempted to use all of them for Klopp montages through the afternoon.
What next for Klopp? Well, he wants a break so he’d do well to listen to Roddy Collins on how to recuperate after a stressful few years in management.
“I’m just living the dream,” Roddy told Tommy Tiernan on Saturday night when he was asked what he’s doing with himself this weather. “Walking around Achill island, just trying to figure out what my existence is. And talking to cows.”
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“Why do you talk to cows?” asked Tommy, not unreasonably. “Because they listen to me,” replied Collins, which was as good a reason as any.
At age 63 he hasn’t given up on a return to management, admitting that he applies for every job going. His CV should be in Liverpool’s postbox any day soon. Not that he needs the money, after all he “won” €3.3 million in the Lotto. “What?” asked Tommy.
Those who have read The Rodfather, Roddy’s majestic collaboration with Paul Howard, will know the story. The gist: he kidded his wife Caroline into thinking they had won the Lotto, at a time when “we were skint”, buying a ticket with the winning numbers from the previous draw and leaving it in the house for her to find. So, she thought they were €3.3 million richer.
“There was a party in the house, but when they eventually found out … do you ever have loads of friends and in five minutes they’re all gone? It took three days to get back into the big bed.” Marriages have been annulled for less.
After Mickey Harte’s switch to Derry, Seán Cavanagh probably wouldn’t be surprised if Klopp moved into Manchester United’s big bed in the next week or two. Nothing much would shock him any more in this gaffer-moving world.
“Would Alex Ferguson have gone to Man City or Liverpool? I just couldn’t see it, it’s hard to accept,” he said in Tralee on Saturday evening when he was on punditry duty for Derry’s League opener against Kerry.
He was a touch surprised to see three Glen players back in action a sprinkling of days after they won the All Ireland club title, but he put it down to Harte’s “cult-like brain-washing where every game means everything”. And that was a tribute.
A measure of how busy these players are these days, between their club and county duties, was Ciarán McFaul’s post-match account of his return to the Derry camp on Wednesday after Glen’s celebrations. “It was good to shake off the cobwebs and be back at it again,” he said, cobwebs developing after a whole two-day break.
But the Glen lads were celebrating again after that one-point victory, during which we saw further evidence of how small our globe is becoming, Derry supporters flying Palestinian flags behind a goal in Tralee.
Over in Newport, come Sunday, the chief protest on view in the crowd was against a benched Manchester United defender, “Harry Maguire. You’re pants! Can I have them please,” it read. That was, of course, unkind as was Gary Lineker’s comment when he noted the Newport mascots staring “in awe” at the United players in the tunnel. “They’ve obviously not watched them that often this season.”
Graham Coughlan mustn’t have either. “How do you beat United,” the BBC’s Kelly Somers asked the Dubliner, Newport’s gaffer. “I suppose you look to the heavens, say a few prayers, look for a little bit of divine inspiration,” he replied.
United went 2-0 up, then it was 2-2. “Can you believe it,” asked Steve Wilson. Well, yeah.
But United, um, cruised to a 4-2 triumph in the end, so at least Klopp will have a trophy to aim for when he takes over the Old Trafford hot seat. Look, If Harte can take charge of Derry, anything is possible. Even having conversations with cows.
