The first response from Ellen Keane comes in actions not words, a slow shaking of the head and then an unbroken smile of perfect contentment. No second thoughts, no regrets, no envy.
Her last act after five successive Paralympics was being the co-flag-bearer in Sunday’s closing ceremony in the Stade de France, and now home in Dublin the only plan for what comes next is that there is no plan. Exactly as Keane wants it.
“No, absolutely not,” she says when asked if there’s any lingering desire to continue after falling just .19 of a second short of another medal in the pool in Paris. “I knew I was ready to move on, and I need to figure out who I am, what I like, what I’m going to do.
“I guess I’ve always had to put that on hold while my swimming career has been ongoing. I was probably ready to retire after Europeans [in April], and even the last few months, in the build up to Paris, were quite difficult. Like, it’s five cycles, and I was really, really tired. I think physically my body could keep going, but mentally I couldn’t keep going.
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“I’m just really, really glad I held on, because it’s such a privilege to represent your country at such a high level. And the feeling I had in Paris wasn’t the competitive performance feeling that I’ve always had at every Games. In Paris I just felt so content, so happy, just living in the moment.”
Her decision to retire, at age 29, ends a unique career which began in Beijing in 2008 at age 13, saw her win bronze in Rio 2016 and gold in Tokyo 2020 (both in the SB8 breaststroke), and helped bring about the paradigm shift in the understanding and awareness of the Paralympics.
“Tokyo for me was the pinnacle of my career, I kind of knew that,” she says. “And when I came home from Tokyo, I knew I wanted to retire in Paris, so it’s really been the last three years in itself where I’ve had a lot of reflecting, moments of thinking about why I started.
“And why I did start was because I loved swimming, I loved sport, and I loved competing. Even though maybe the fire and drive wasn’t there to get the gold medal this time round, I wanted to make sure that I ended my career enjoying it, that I was happy.
“Like when Róisín [Ní Riain] won her first medal the day of my breaststroke, and even though she came second, and I came fourth, it kind of felt like a passing of the guard, like this isn’t my time any more. And it kind of made it easier to make peace with it, I didn’t feel jealous in the slightest. Not angry in the slightest, I just felt so proud of her, and so excited of what the future holds.”
An ambassador for Paralympics sponsor Allianz, she certainly sensed improved exposure around Paris, although suggests RTÉ still have some way to go get their coverage on par with the Olympics.
On the perception that Paralympics Ireland may be more concerned about winning medals than participation, she says: “The thing is it’s about performance, it’s about standards, it’s about trying to grow the sport.
“We strive to be recognised as elite athletes, so the reason standards are so high and hard to hit is because of this. And you can’t grow a sport if the times aren’t getting faster, the standards aren’t getting better, you need to be able to push people. You don’t want to just watch a participation event, that’s not what the Paralympics is.”
She’s open to some day giving something back to Paralympics sport, only for now it’s about “a bit of me time”, then seeing where that takes her.
“I’ve known what I’ve been doing every day for the past 16, 20 years, but for the first time ever I don’t know what’s next. And I’m going to appreciate that, really lean into that, and be really careful not to jump into the first thing that comes around. I want to make sure it’s something I’m really, really passionate about.”
