Sometimes it’s hard not to conclude that life would be a whole lot more relaxed for managers – and indeed followers – of sporting teams if they were in a permanent position of mid-table obscurity, neither dreaming of titles nor fretting about relegation.
Because being in the mix for shiny cups can, evidently, prove highly stressful, as Damien Duff confirmed by prowling up and down the touchline in Tallaght on Sunday evening, a brand new wrinkle appearing on his forehead with every passing Shamrock Rovers attack.
And then there was Ciarán Kilduff chewing his gums at Athlone Town Stadium the night before as Bohemians threatened in the early stages of the game to party-poop his team’s efforts at wrapping up the league.
The RTÉ cameras even picked out a Rovers fan in Tallaght who stood in the stands with his back to the action, him pretending to be conducting the choir, but clearly too anxious to watch the tussle below.
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The only time Duffer smiled during it all was when the ref marched over to book him, possibly because – and this is just a wild guess – he might have begged to differ with a decision made by the officials.
Duffer grinned, took a slug of his orange, and resumed his touchline prowling. Rovers gaffer Stephen Bradley was in no position to tut-tut – he was in the stands having been given a suspension for paying tribute to the man with the whistle in their game against Derry City, describing him as “the worst in the league”.
See? Frayed nerves. Tetchiness all round, when if you weren’t in contention for anything at all you’d be chilled. There’s a lot to be said for mediocrity.
By then, Shels were a goal down to one of those Jack Byrne finishes that have you saying “ah stop”, at which point the as-it-stands table appeared on the screen, one that would have had Shels devotees running for the bathroom and Rovers diehards jiggin’ and reelin’.
Five minutes to go, 2-0 Rovers. “Shels, Shels are falling apart again,” sang the home crowd, even the fella who’d had his back to the game, now brave enough to have a peek.
Three games to go, just four points separating the top four, Shels, Rovers, Derry City (with two games in hand) and Galway United, while the teams in fifth and sixth, St Pat’s and Sligo Rovers, haven’t mathematically cancelled their open-top bus parades either. In other words, for all those concerned, it’s unbearable.
But the agony for the women of Athlone is over. Take a bow, champions. Once they went 2-0 up in the first half, TG4 bringing us live coverage of the game, Kilduff was able to leave his gums in peace. Not that it was entirely plain sailing thereafter, but job done with a game to spare.
And a measure of Athlone’s newness to this title-winning lark, even though they’ve collected President’s Cups and an FAI Cup trophy along the way, was how utterly appalling their champagne-spraying efforts were after the game. Peamount United and Shelbourne are old hands at this lark, like they’re sprinkling salt on their chips, but Athlone were like, ‘what is this magnum thing we see before us?’ Joy unconfined. Gorgeous.
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Just as gorgeous was the chat Sky Sports’ Patrick Davison had with Paul McGrath before their coverage of Aston Villa v Manchester United, two of his former employers. “Ridiculous,” he said of the vote that made him player of the year at the end of the first Premier League season, so he’s as cocky as ever.
He talked about his battle with alcohol, and the brutal impact it had on his life. But, he said gently, “I’ve forgiven myself.” As Les Ferdinand, back in the studio, put it, these days there’s a mountain of help for players going through what McGrath did; back then there was none. So, he saluted him for coming through it all and being as healthy and contented as he now appears to be.
What Ferdinand didn’t forgive him for was the quality of his defending. “He had absolutely everything,” he said after watching a clip of one of those perfectly timed McGrath tackles that took the ball from Ferdinand’s feet just as he was about to score for Newcastle against Villa.
“Only six defenders ever won that award in 51 years, McGrath was one of them. Some player.” What’s it they say? We’ll never see his like again. But we were blessed to have his like the once.