The things footballers say
"Yes, I was surprised about George's sacking - but as I always say, nothing surprises me in football."
- Les Ferdinand
"Yeah, I was a bit anxious when I got to the stadium, but in all fairness if I hadn't been anxious I'd have been worried." - Leeds goalkeeper Paul Robinson.
"Achilles tendon injuries are the worst you can probably have - they are a pain in the butt."
- David O'Leary.
"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven."
- David Beckham (above).
Poem of the season
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I wish Henrik Larsson would go to Man U." - A St Valentine's Day message from a Rangers fan to his Celtic beloved (as published in the Daily Record).
Chant of the season
"Are you Tim Henman in disguise?" - Shamrock Rovers led 4-1 . . . but lost 6-4 to Bohemians.
`Phew' of the season
(1) "I wouldn't pose nude for £3 million" (Peter Beardsley),
(2) Terry Venables's wife's success in persuading him not to pose naked with a pair of Dobermans for Cosmopolitan magazine.
More things footballers say
"I've had an interest in racing all my life - or longer really." - Kevin Keegan (right).
"This is cup football now, it's all one- off games - and we have two of them against Valencia." - Rio Ferdinand
"Paulo Wanchope is totally unpredictable - but you know what you're going to get when you buy him." - Alan Shearer.
"It got to the point where I owed one bookie £65,000, another £40,000 and a third £25,000 . . . but thankfully my debts never got to what I would call crazy money." - John Hartson.
Bizarre No 1
Fulham captain Chris Coleman was ruled out for the second half of the season after breaking his leg in a car crash. A friend revealed that "he swerved to avoid what he thinks was a deer, it all happened so fast - he also said the animal could have been something smaller, like a rabbit."
Bizarre No 2
Ceahlaul Piatra Neamt president Gheorghe Stefan's attempt to overturn the five-year ban from European competition imposed on the Romanian club by UEFA for `offering the services' of prostitutes to match officials before their Intertoto game against Austria Vienna: "They weren't prostitutes, they were members of a folk ensemble."
Bizarre No 3
Sky Sport's Andy Gray's attempt at dispelling the theory that football folk have dodgy taste in music: "I dispute that - in the car at the moment I've got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart."
Favourite pundits
(1) Barry Venison ("Tempo - now there's a big word").
(2) Ron Atkinson ("Sometimes you just can't do nothing about anything").
(3) Anonymous BBC Radio Five Live commentator ("To be honest, I can't remember him scoring a goal that wasn't memorable").
(4) Another anonymous BBC Radio Five Live commentator ("Manchester City's Shaun Wright-Phillips, who is of course Ian Wright's son . . . he doesn't look anything like him, though." Note: Shaun is Ian's adopted son).
`We're saying nothing' 2000-2001
As part of a campaign by local libraries to encourage children to read more the players of Leeds United were asked to name their favourite book of all time. Olivier Dacourt chose the autobiography of Francois Mitterrand, Nigel Martyn opted for The Hobbit and Mark Viduka? He nominated the picture book, Where's Wally?. "It's the kind of book you can share with your mates," he said, to which Dominic Matteo replied: "absolutely".
Charming
"In 11th place on the `most beautiful women in sport' list was our Minister for Sport Kate Hoey - I would hate to meet the girl who came 12th on a dark night."
- Chelsea chairman Ken Bates (right).
"It was just his presence - he didn't have any."
- Gerry Taggart on Lawrie McMenemy's days as Northern Ireland manager.
Question: Bohemians, UCD and Finn Harps are football teams in which country?
Answer: Finland. - As heard on Channel 4's quiz show 15-1.
"We've sold our birthright down the fjord to a nation of seven million skiers and hammer throwers who spend half their lives in darkness." - The Daily Mail's Jeff Powell welcomes Sven-Goran Eriksson to the England job.
"He may be a good manager, but it's not as if he sells any strips." - The response of a Manchester United director on hearing of Alex Ferguson's wage demands for becoming the club's ambassador after he retires.
Saddest parents of the season
True, we were about 18 years late but still, the revelation that Emlyn Hughes named his daughter Emma Lynn was worth the wait. Close runner-up is Liverpool supporter Ronnie Chambers who only recently christened his daughter `Anfield Shankly Paisley Houllier' - a little sister for `Kopite Megan' and `Ruth Jamie Redknapp'. In time all three might forgive Ronnie, but we very much doubt it.
We get the drift
"It should be good, it will be good. We have got many good players and they will become a good team. He is a great manager. I think it will be a good thing." - David Beckham on Sven Goran Eriksson's appointment as England manager.
"It's another challenge. It's not a challenge that I would have liked - I'd rather have had the challenge of getting into Europe - but it's another challenge and it's a challenge that I relish. It's a challenge and I'm up for that challenge." - Paul Ince on Middlesbrough's relegation battle.
