Keith Duggan takes us through the highs and lows of, erm, 2006. Aren't the years just flying by?
JANUARY
The year begins in driving rain and freezing conditions, the kind of day the nutcases that inhabit Thomond Park love. You know the scene. Munster put Sale "to the sword". Tom McGurk, pink of cravat and blue of lip, declares Thomond the best place in the world while George "Hooky" Hook appears to experience several of what the late Mick Doyle termed the rugby orgasm. Brent "Popie" Pope lurks in the background, possibly pondering the direction in which his life his going.
The Man of the Match goes to Ronan "Rog" O'Gara, who kicks something in the region of 300 points and praises the efforts of The Bull, Axel F and Strings. The Claw is spotted in the crowd. To rugby fans, it is the perfect day, to others merely a bewildering succession of nicknames.
There is commotion in Glasgow when Gordon Strachan, paying a courtesy call to the Keane household somehow gets into a tangle with the family pet, Triggs. "The wee fella didn't mean any harm, he was just being affectionate. I gave him a pat and he is grand now," Keane says of his manager.
FEBRUARY
The FAI announce that, after a long hard think, they have decided to offer the Irish manager's post to Nobody. Eamon Dunphy declares on national television that the decision is "visionary and brilliant," a view that is strongly challenged by Bill O'Herlihy, who dares Dunphy to take the job.
A week later, Dunphy is unveiled as the caretaker Irish boss. His first team includes a midfield of Grealish, Giles, Brady and Roy Keane. "Good players are never too old or too young, Bill," he later explains.
On an away trip, Celtic's John Hartson decides to bond with Roy Keane by producing a round of prawn sandwiches wrapped in tinfoil. "Muppet" becomes the insult of choice around Glasgow.
MARCH
Jose Mourinho declares himself bored by soccer as Chelsea storm into a 30-point lead in the Premiership. On a visit to Old Trafford, he tells the players to run their own substitutions and remains in the dugout reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. He later announces his intention to run for prime minister in the next British election to Garth Crook of Match of the Day.
There is alarm at Twickenham when it becomes clear the home crowd have forgotten the words to Swing Low, Sweet Chariot as they "romp" to a 50-point beating of the Irish. Afterwards, a chap on BBC suggests the Irish will be crying into the black stuff tonight.
APRIL
Complaints by a former president that the GAA Congress has gone "too Hollywood" seem borne out when dozens of white stretch limousines arrive outside Croke Park on the first night. A long debate on the domination of the handpass carries on through the small hours in the VIP section of Lillies Bordello, where U2's Bono is mistaken for the Roscommon county treasurer and is set upon by a posse from Mayo.
Order is restored when Bono and outgoing president Seán Kelly serenade incoming man Nickey Brennan with a stirring rendition of The Rose of Mooncoin. Afterwards, the enigmatic musician gives the V sign and describes Kelly as "one cool cat".
Mourinho recites Winston Churchill's "We Shall Fight Them On the Beaches" before Chelsea's Champions League semi-final with Liverpool.
Gavin Henson misses last-minute penalty at Lansdowne Road - ending Wales's bid for the Triple Crown. He claims the heavy rain made his mascara run into his eyes.
MAY
There is consternation across the country as the Ulster championship gets underway without a single scuffle, melee or off-the-ball incident. "They'll be wearing mascara up there next," scorns Pat Spillane.
Armagh rack up 10-118 in their first two games. Laois are declared favourites for the All-Ireland. Paul Caffrey's announcement that Taoiseach Bertie Ahern is to serve as one of his selectors for the championship is greeted with mixed views. Ahern walks on a Florida beach with world leaders at a G8 summit sporting an Arnotts track-suit top.
Bookmakers stop taking bets on Liverpool after they fall 3-0 behind against Real Madrid early in the Champions League final.
JUNE
The World Cup appears to be going ahead as scheduled despite the absence of the Irish team and the Best Fans in the World. Asked how they felt about not having the Boys In Green at the tournament, a FIFA spokesperson explains that "it is fine really".
Mourinho denounces the World Cup as boring. England meet Germany in a dour semi-final which goes to penalties. Sven-Goran Eriksson smiles palely as Rio Ferdinand steps up to take the deciding kick.
There is controversy before Ireland's rugby Test against New Zealand when Brian O'Driscoll responds to a performance of the Haka by holding several blades of grass before the goggle-eyed Kiwis, does an impressive version of the Hokey Cokey and a not so successful attempt at the Moonwalk. "It's not like they were going to spear-tackle me or something," reasons the BOD.
JULY
The organisers at the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis club try to restore some of the tournament's lost magic by forcing all competitors to sip Robinson's Barley Water during games. Several of the tennis circuit's stars back Andy Roddick's assertion that the beverage is "really, like, gross and stuff".
Wayne Rooney and Ronaldinho star in a World Cup final that is generally accepted as the greatest soccer game ever played. England beat Brazil 5-4.
The GAA's decision to allow foreign games into Croke Park is blamed as the reason for England's sudden return to world domination. Eriksson is knighted at Buckingham Palace and is forced to apologise when the Sun publishes pictures of his 10-minute romp in the shoe cupboard with one of the Royal secretaries.
AUGUST
Bertie Ahern allows that the Dubs have "a lot done, more to do" as they win Leinster. Denies holding talks with the Glazer family about succeeding Alex Ferguson at Manchester United.
Many, many ex-footballers complain that too much hand-passing, too many swift, flowing moves, too much Armagh, too much Ulster in general, too many tactics, too many exciting games, too many tackles, not enough tackles and too many action replays are destroying the game of football. Armagh and Tyrone draw in the Ulster final. Replay.
SEPTEMBER
Both the All-Ireland finals, held early to accommodate the Ryder Cup, end in draws. Tiger Woods, a guest of the GAA at the hurling final, stuns America by declaring he would rather watch the replay than play in the afternoon four-ball.
Enthused by the performance of Henry Shefflin in the final, he announces his decision to quit golf entirely and move to Ballyhale in the hope of playing with the Shamrocks. Tiger is marked by Willie O'Connor of Glenmore in a challenge match.
There is great merriment when Willie quips "Easy, Tiger" after the golfer pulls wildly on a loose ball. Slips out of Ballyhale on the night train and wins several million in the Buick classic the following weekend.
The IRFU and the FAI agree to go halves on a JCB for the redevelopment of Lansdowne Road. History is made as Irish manager Dunphy leads his team out on to the hallowed turf at Croke Park for the Euro 2008 qualifier against Estonia. Dunphy's hour-long speech is regarded as one of the great pieces of Irish oratory.
OCTOBER
There is a full house in Lansdowne Road as Ireland face England in a vital Euro 2008 qualifier. Dunphy has persuaded Mark Lawrenson, Tony Galvin and Chris Hughton to come back to the big stage by now. Frank Stapleton is selected, but is contracted to work in studio.
In a poll, many hundreds of thousands of Irish people admit the sight of Croke Park bedecked in Union Jacks stirs feelings of nationalistic fervour that they hadn't previously realised existed. Others say the lusty rendition of God Save the Queen and the chanting of "The Referee's a Wanker" actually made them feel a bit queasy. Ireland win 2-0. On television, Dunphy describes manager Dunphy as "a great tactician and a wonderful man".
NOVEMBER
There is surprise at the GAA All Stars banquet when Tyrone's Peter Canavan is honoured with his ninth award. Several people, including Canavan, point out that Peter the Great retired over a year ago. However, it is argued the sight of Canavan buying a Cornetto at half-time of the All-Ireland final had a seminal impact on the outcome of the game.
Fifteen Cork hurlers make the team, but after intense discussions, they are forced to go on strike, describing the absence of Pavlova on the dinner menu as a disgrace. After 11th hour negotiations with the kitchen, the fluffy, vanilla favourite replaces the less popular coffee mascarpone on the menu.
GAA president Brennan poses with the Rebel team and a massive hurl-shaped Pavlova. The GPA's Dessie Farrell describes it as a great day for player power, but admits he is not fond of Pavlova as a pudding.
DECEMBER
A bitter row breaks out between the FAI and IRFU over who lost the keys to the JCB at the Christmas party. Both associations snub the GAA by announcing they will play all future home games in Cardiff. There is outrage on the Joe Duffy show until it is pointed out that pints are "for nothing" in the Welsh capital.
The GAA calls an emergency meeting. A motion is passed to hire out Croke Park for weddings, large birthday parties and all-night raves. Ahern resigns as Taoiseach so he can commit fully to Dublin's drive for the Walsh Cup.
