Well, thank God for Father Seamus Duffy, that's what I say. At last someone had the courage of their convictions to speak out and put that auld hussey Sonia O'Sullivan in her place. The Monica Lewinsky of Irish sport, that's what she is, bringing shame on us all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she looked wonderful, radiant and happy in those photos of her and her baby, but not even with the help of my magnifying glass could I spot a wedding ring on the hand that lovingly cradled her beautiful baby's head.

Role model me arse. Just you wait and see: there won't be a child in the country with a father for the next 10 years, all because of the example set by that virago - and that's the only word for her. If Charlie McCreevy had any sense at all he'd bill her for the extra money the Government has to pay out in unmarried allowances in the coming years. And forget this nonsense about Ms (note: not Mrs) O'Sullivan's private life being absolutely none of our business. Haven't we been good enough to let her win gold medals for us and carry the Tricolour with pride on her victory laps around athletics' stadia in every corner of the globe?

And haven't we had the kindest of heart to be awestruck by her magnificence, her grace, her elegance, her power, as she digs deep to find that explosive kick that allows her to accelerate away from world class opponents in the final lap of a race?

And haven't we been magnanimous enough to applaud her for her courage, her heart, her guts, her spirit for burying the painful memories of Atlanta by returning to prove she's the finest athlete this country has ever had?

Haven't we? Surely, then, we deserve something in return, like a wedding ring. At the very least we've earned the right to comment on what she gets up to off the track, just as we have the right to criticise the state of Brigid O'Reilly's net curtains, the ones she hasn't washed since March 1994. Think of the shame Ms O'Sullivan will bring on us all if she's brazen enough to turn up in Sydney for the Olympics. Mark my word, the worldwide audience of 500 trillion will say "is that the Irish wan who has a child but isn't married" as she gallops like a gazelle around the Olympic track. And no matter what we say we're always worried about what our neighbours think.

They won't be saying "Jaysus, Ireland is blessed to have such a truly magnificent athlete"; from Katmandu to Timbuktu they'll be turning off their tellies in droves, horrified, in protest. Mortified, we'll be. Last Wednesday there was a letter published in this newspaper on the subject of Father Duffy's comments about Ms O'Sullivan. It shocked me when I heard more than a few people remark that it was the "most brilliant response" they'd heard or read to the Father's remarks. Frankly, I despaired for Ireland.

"I can think of no better role model for young Irish women than the wonderful Sonia O'Sullivan - the picture of health, happiness, success and achievement," it said. Is that what we've come to in this country? Wanting women to be healthy, happy, successful and achieving things? God help us all. "Conversely," the letter continued, "I can think of no less appropriate role model for young Irish men than the crusty, uncaring, misogynistic, aged celibates of today's Catholic Church. Maybe Father Duffy could take a leaf from Sonia's book by recognising the immensely positive values of motherhood and happiness."

Need we know any more about the author of that letter than the fact that he regards "crusty" as a term of abuse? There's nothing wrong with crusty. Crusty is good. And why should Father Duffy's use of the phrase "common slut" deem him to be a misogynist? All he was trying to do was point out to the 29-year-old girl the error of her ways. That's what he's there for, he was only doing his job. And, of course, his own institution is so trouble-free at the moment that he has plenty of time to help us sinners mend our ways. And for that we should be grateful. We can only hope that those who select Irish sporting teams will now show the same courage as Father Duffy and vet female athletes before they are allowed represent this country in competition. How about asking them to fill in a questionnaire to test their moral credentials?

For example: 1a) Are you still waiting for an offer of marriage ("single" in modern day parlance)? If "yes" have you ever . . . you know . . . encouraged a man to . . . you know? 1b) Are you married? If "yes" were you second hand goods when your husband rescued you from the shelf? 2) Have you ever looked at a picture of Brad Pitt and had evil thoughts? 3) Have you ever purchased a Wonderbra? And so on. That way we'd root out the hussies before they'd have a chance of pulling on the green singlet.

So I say to the young girls of Ireland: make Sonia O'Sullivan your role model and you'll come to no good. You'll be healthy, happy, successful and, worst of all, you'll achieve all sorts of things in your life. You'll be ambitious, strong, free-spirited and, most frightening of all, you'll fulfil your potential.