A soccer miscellany compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Gas tale: Blame it on Rio as defender's tweets validate McCarthy's observation
WIND BAG:WITH MORE than a few footballers getting themselves in to a heap of trouble over their Tweeting these days, Liverpool's Ryan Babel the latest, Mick McCarthy shared his thoughts on the issue last week.
"They should rename it Twatter," he said, "too many tweets make a twat."
Harsh. Not least because footballers often give a fascinating insight to their lives on Twitter, none more so than Rio Ferdinand who generously gave a running commentary on a road trip he took last week.
"I'm in a car being driven home . . . is it bad of me to let one go?! I don't think it's a smelly one, bland food last couple of days! In 2 minds!!"
Update: "I went for the polite 'what's that smell, Is that the cows outside mate?' He just laughed me off!! He's seen all this before I guess!"
By now the Twitter world was, not surprisingly, captivated, waiting with bated breath for more breaking Rio news, so to speak. "Another is brewing nicely!," he told them, "gonna save it for when I get out as I feel bad!"
The thriller ended quite suddenly, alas, Rio beginning to sound a little remorseful: "Will it soften the blow if I say 'sorry mate but I just let a bum sneeze go'!!"
And that was it.
Rio followed his gas tale with a plea for donations to Queenslanders effected by the recent floods, and also treated us to a preview of yesterday's game against Spurs: "Mahoooosive game 2mo, can't wait! 3points is what we want tweeps, I'm focused maaaaaan! Let's av iiiiiiiiit!!"
Mick? Honestly, you don't know what you're missing.
Real Rude: Beckenbauer has a swipe at Mourinho
COACH OF THE YEAR:IF IT was indeed the real Franz Beckenbauer quoted by Goal.com last week it seems that he wasn't overly chuffed by Jose Mourinho winning Fifa's Coach of the Year award, despite the fact that the Portuguese fella won just about all there was to be won last season.
With not inconsiderable glee, Beckenbauer recalled Real Madrid's 5-0 hammering at the Nou Camp in November, when, he said, Jose suffered "the worst humiliation" at the hands of a team that actually knew how to play football.
"He has been rude and with no education in his behaviour to achieve his objectives. The fact that he wears cashmere sweaters doesnt mean he belongs like a gentleman, he said, leaving us gasping in anticipation of Jose's reply. Should be good.
You have to say, though, insulting someone by suggesting they are uneducated is a bit low. Cristiano Ronaldo would most probably agree.
"Maybe its a difficult childhood, no education, a manager once said of him. Who was that? Yep. Jose.
Word of mouth: Diouf continues to dig a hole for himself with latest remarks
FALL-OUT:"Who is Warnock? He knows nothing about me. He's not Alex Ferguson. He's not Arsene Wenger. He's not Sam Allardyce or an important manager. Neil Warnock does not like me and I do not like Neil Warnock!
– Blackburn's El-Hadji Diouf continues his spat with the QPR manager, but also succeeds in offending Ferguson and Wenger by lumping them in with Allardyce.
"I was on a boat, I was happy and then I got a phone call from John Henry. Being a professional athlete, I was obviously in the bar when I got the call at 2am."
– Kenny Dalglish half suggesting he was jarred when he accepted the offer to take over as Liverpool manager. Behave.
"They say that he is arrogant, but I remember him being friendly and fun. Yes, it is difficult for him to resist the mirror, but he is a good guy."
– Barcelona's Gerard Pique on his former Manchester United buddy Cristiano Ronaldo.
"Howard Webb MBE. Manc of the Busby Empire. Absolutely sick. Hate losing to them. Fergie has his puppet Howard Webb on a piece of string!"
– A tweet from a none-too-happy Liverpool fan. Who? Kenny's lad, Paul Dalglish.
"Nigel Clough said when he got the Derby job it was great because he would never have to go to places like Crawley again. It was the most demeaning statement I have heard from a manager who has got a job at Championship level."
– Crawley manager Steve Evans who, naturally enough, took a bit of pleasure from his team's FA Cup victory last week . . . over Derby.
Sizing him up: O'Brien's dad gets the measure of Bates
LEEDS CHAIRMAN NOT BIG ON SMALL TALK:FORMER REPUBLIC of Ireland defender Andy O'Brien's account of his negotiations with Leeds United chairman Ken Bates over making his loan move to the club permanent will, we suspect, be hard to top this year.
Or any other year, really.
"I don't have an agent. My dad came in with me initially and he is a big bloke of around 20 stone. The chairman's first words were, 'We'll sign the fat one instead!' My dad replied he had been on a diet for six weeks, to which the chairman said, 'Well that isn't effing working, is it?'. Dad is quite quick-witted and said back, 'Well I don't know what your excuse is'. It went from there."
Andy's Da? We love you.
Mersey heat: FC united in disowning goalkeeper
A MODERN UPDATE OF THE KING'S SPEECH?:MORE THAN a few websites picked up last week on the Twitterings of goalkeeper John Ogden after he sent a message to Rio Ferdinand calling Liverpool "Murderers".
The general consensus was that Ogden should avoid any trips to the city for the foreseeable future.
He was described in most dispatches as FC United's goalkeeper, which is worrying news for Sam Ashton – FC United's goalkeeper.
"It'll Be Off", the club's unofficial website, pointed out that Ogden only played twice for them, back in 2007, and that he's now doing his goalkeeping thing for Ramsbottom – indeed, the last mention we can find of him was when he had a blinder against Nostell Miners Welfare in the qualifying rounds of the FA Vase.
When FC United next have a game in the Merseyside area you'd imagine the back of Ashton's shirt will read something along the lines of:
"I'm NOT John Ogden, honest".
Poor lad.
Did you get this text message last week? Several dozen times? Us too.
"Kenny Dalglish has denied he is out of touch with modern football and says his first task as Liverpool manager will be to knock Nottingham Forest right off their ****ing perch."
Tut.
Quinn's Labour of love
SUNDERLAND CHAIRMAN Niall Quinn is hoping former British Foreign Secretary David Miliband (above) will help the club achieve a higher profile around the world.
News of the South Shields MP's impending appointment to the Black Cats' board leaked out last week, much to Quinn's annoyance, and he is expected to be announced as a non-executive director next month.
Writing in his programme notes ahead of yesterday's derby clash with Newcastle, the chairman said: "Welcoming David Miliband to the club would be tremendous because he would challenge us in our thinking.
"We have found someone whose ambition, intelligence and ability to achieve exactly suits the road map this club has in order to be strong and great for many years to come."
Never say never: You could end up in Norwich
DEFENDER TIERNEY NOW A MARC-ED MAN:IF THERE'S one lesson Marc Tierney has learnt recently it's to never, ever, ever say never.
A year ago: "My girlfriend went shopping the other day and someone asked her if I was going to Norwich. I'd just like to say that I would never in a million years go to Norwich. I can categorically say that."
Last week?
"I am massively pleased to join this massive club," he said after leaving Colchester for, well, Norwich.
"That's just football,"said the brother of Paul, a former Republic of Ireland under-21 international, "it got somewhat blown up."
