A soccer miscellany compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Eric: It's a funny old play
While artists can, of course, be sensitive creatures who don’t take criticism of their work too well, most of the more experienced performers accept it’s all part of the game. Like Eric Cantona.
He appeared in the play Ubu enchaine in Aquitaine recently and while his efforts weren’t all that well received, and the theatre was only half-full, he took it like a pro?
“The actor is said to have given a confused performance and to have left the stage without returning to acknowledge the audience,” reported Province News.
And his message for the audience in the theatre’s guest book? He described them as a “shitty, petit-bourgeois public”. And with that it was adieu from Dieu.
Goalie: He can score too
Did you see the photo Barcelona captain Carles Puyol put on his Facebook page last week of Lionel Messi doing a spot of net-minding in training?
“I have seen everything now,” he wrote, “even as a goalkeeper he does well, this little phenomenon.” “It’s Photoshopped, surely,” the Planet replied. But, apparently not.
“We all dream of a team of Lionel Messis” You have to say.
Heavy Price: Sacking can be such a painful thing
“Do I regret the decision to fire Stefano Pioli? I am eating my second testicle. I already ate the first.”
– Palermo owner Maurizio Zamparini revealing he’s paying a heavy price for sacking Pioli before the season even began.
“Pele may have taken his morning pills at night time, so he should make sure he takes the right ones. In fact, it would be better if he changed his doctor.”
– Maradona again, still a bit unimpressed by Pele comparing himself to Beethoven and Michelangelo.
“Where they find some owners now, I don’t know. I remember the first guy they brought in at Portsmouth from Saudi Arabia somewhere. He looked like they pulled him off the stall outside. He looked like the only Arab who didn’t have oil in his garden.”
– Harry Redknapp, international manager-elect. The sound you hear is the English FA weeping.
“We (Germany) paid hundreds of millions of euros to Spain to get out of the shit and then the clubs are exempted from paying their debt to pay for stars like Cristiano or Messi. This cannot be.”
– Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness on, well, Germany’s Real Madrid and Barcelona bail-outs?
Figo spot on
Take a bow Luis Figo, snapped on a golf course in Tenerife. Smarties Pants?
Video nasty: Concordia's Idan has 'a dark day'
Last we looked there were 14 “likes” and one “dislike” on the YouTube video “Worst keeper EVER! Idan Baruch”, leaving you wondering if Idan was the sole viewer not to appreciate the highlights from his performance for Romanian side Concordia against Vaslui.
Let’s just say, his goalkeeping wasn’t top notch, leaving some in the Romanian media to suspect there was a bit of shady business at play – their suspicions heightened by the fact he played for another club last season that was accused of being involved in match-fixing. But the allegations are “defamatory”. “I just had a dark day. People will soon see the real Idan Baruch,” the Observer quoted him yesterday. “Anyway it’s not like I need money. My family’s loaded.”
Well then, case dismissed.
Seven: Keep mouth shut
Two Saturdays ago: Bayern Munich 7, Hoffenheim 1 in the Bundesliga.
Monday: “The margin of victory does not impress me. I have absolutely no fear that Bayern will score seven goals in one game against us.” Basel manager Heiko Vogel ahead of the team’s Champions League meeting. Tuesday: Bayern 7, Basel 0. “We’ve been shown our limits, although we didn’t learn anything new.”
You’d imagine, though, that Vogel learnt to keep his predictions to himself.
