Compiled by MARY HANNIGAN

Mystic money men: When finance and football just don't mix

YOU KNOW the old saying, if the queen had wotsits she'd be the king? Well, with that in mind, we read National Irish Bank's World-Cup-that-should-have-been predictions, ones they reached after putting Ireland in France's place and then judging the relative strengths of opposing teams based on "the difference in economic and football fundamentals between the two nations".

That'd be a country's wealth, population size, football history and tradition, current form, presence of "superstars" and home advantage.

Right then, were we knocked out at the first hurdle? Certainly not.

Verdict: "Our model predicts that Ireland would have gone through the tournament unbeaten!"

Excellent – we'd have bettered Mexico and drawn with South Africa and Uruguay.

But there's a but. A big one. The group would have ended with three countries, including ourselves, tied on five points, with Giovanni Trapattoni's jolly green giants being pipped by South Africa and Uruguay for a place in the next round. Gutted.

There's bad news, too, for the rest of the "economically ailing PIIGS countries" – Portugal, Italy, Greece and Spain – with all of them destined for gloomy World Cups.

Brazil, though, will have lots to celebrate, the "emerging market nation" forecast to beat the "developed" Germany in the final.

"Why do we, as economists, care about World Cup 2010," NIB asked themselves.

"To be frank, because we love football and obviously because the World Cup is a major event. Spicing up our research with some football stats makes our work worthwhile and make it easier to get girls to talk to us at parties!"

Lads? No offence, but there are reasons why girls won't talk to you at parties. Immersing yourselves in World-Cup-that-should-have-been predictions based on the difference in economic and football fundamentals between two nations being one.

WORLD CUP BALLS
URUGUAY 1930 WORLD CUP BALLS
Hosts Uruguay won the inaugural World Cup, beating Argentina 4-2 in the final. Verdict: If there are
concerns about how the Jabulani flies through the South African air, back in 1930 it was a
wonder the ball – a touch weighty with a tendency to collapse – ever got off the ground.

World Cup legends: Whatever happened to Tostao?

EDUARDO GONCALVES de Andrade, better known as Tostao (little coin), was one of the stars of
the 1970 Brazilian team that won the World Cup in Mexico.

Where is he now? After his playing career ended at the age of 27, his early retirement brought on by an eye injury, Tostao left the game to become a doctor, having previously studied economics. He returned as a television pundit for the 1994 World Cup and the 63-year-old has been a respected columnist in Brazil ever since. He's no fan of Brazilian manager Dunga, accusing him of dividing the country, being too conservative and neglecting some of Brazil's brightest young talent.