Dull Guscott misses the joke

WHILE SIFTING through a Jeremy Guscott Q&A on the BBC website we happened upon two funny Irish questions.

1. Hi Jeremy, as an Irishman it pains me to think of the unconvincing or downright poor displays of last autumn – and now Declan Kidney’s list of injured players grows each day, with Tommy cut through England like butter Bowe under observation. How do you see the Irish doing this side of April?

2. Will the same old war horses be battered around for two months or would you like to think Kidney will experiment in preparation for the World Cup? PS - Dont you think Kidney always looks like someone is whispering jokes in his ear while giving interviews?

Andy, Ireland

Unfortunately, the princely centre’s conservative reply didn’t really respond to the humour of the questions.

“Hi Andy, Ireland come into this tournament under the radar with a long injury list, poor performances in the autumn and low expectations from the general rugby public. It might not be seen that way by the Irish supporters but it’s a good position to be in because internally the team know they have the talent to beat everyone in the competition. They should begin with a win against Italy in Rome that will set them up nicely for the visit of France. If the Irish front row can hold their own, then I would expect Ireland to be very competitive despite all the injuries.”

Zzzzz. Sorry, dozed off there.

Come to Rome for rugby, drink and Vatican too

AN ENTERPRISING company in Rome will take advantage of the Ireland fans travelling this weekend for Ireland’s opener on Saturday afternoon against Italy in Stadio Flamino. An Irish agency located beside the Vatican will be organising special tours to both the Vatican and the Coliseum during the Six Nations weekend, which promise the best guides and the best prices.

“We have even got the bar next door to us to lower their prices even further. They are already the cheapest in the Vatican area,” says Helen Donegan of Italywithus. Helen can be contacted via www.italywithus.com for all of those who like to mix their rugby, drink and the papacy.

Osprey's clipped but still Wales mainstays

YOU MIGHT wonder what all the fuss is about at the Ospreys, where players appear to keep on wanting to leave, Lee Byrne being the latest to jump ship to Clermont. Money, presumably, is at the heart of it but you cannot fault the Welsh club side in their commitment to the national cause. Of the 22 players who will open their international Six Nations season against England tomorrow, no fewer than 10 of the players are from the Ospreys.

James Hook at fullback, Mike Phillips at scrumhalf, Shane Williams on the wing, Paul James at loosehead prop, Craig Mitchell at tighthead prop and Alun-Wyn Jones in the second row all start. Four of the seven replacements are also from Liberty Stadium, Richard Hibbard, Ryan Jones, Jonathan Thomas and the aforementioned Byrne.

Henson cleared to join Toulon

* THE TORTURED saga of Gavin Henson's career took another twist last night when the Wales centre asked to be released immediately from his contract with Saracens.

French media said Henson was likely to sign for Toulon until the end of the season. Henson played his first competitive game in 18 months for Saracens on December 26th. However, Saracens issued a statement last night saying he had asked to be released. Gavin Henson has asked to be released from his contract with Saracens with immediate effect. The club has agreed to this request, said chairman Nigel Wray.

Toulon require urgent cover at outhalf with Jonny Wilkinson on Six Nations duty and Felipe Contepomi injured.

* WHAT SORT of criticism would Declan Kidney face if he brought the same record into Ireland’s opening Six Nations Championship as Martin Johnson is doing with the England team?

England have not won a Six Nations game in Cardiff, where they play tomorrow evening in their opening match, since Johnson captained them to victory en route to a grand slam in 2003, which is also the last time they won the title.

Their away form has been, to put it mildly, disgraceful. Of England’s last 16 away games in the championship they have won only four, and three of those came against Italy.

So what have Ireland to fear this weekend?

All's well Sonny fine

SONNY BILL Williams controversial boxing bout last weekend has done no harm to his bid to be fit for the Super Rugby campaign and World Cup later in the year. All Blacks doctor Deb Robinson and her Crusaders counterpart, Martin Swan, confirmed there were no serious issues arising from the centre’s unanimous points win over Scott Lewis last Saturday, which he undertook with a fractured leg.

The four-times-capped Williams, who played against Ireland last November in Lansdowne Road, was widely criticised for his decision to take the fight so close to the start of the season but doctors have said that he didn’t damage the fractured bone any further.

Williams won the heavyweight encounter on a unanimous points decision after dominating the fight. But what grabbed the headlines in New Zealand was the state of his leg and whether his boxing had interfered with the recovery.

“He’s been boxing-fighting and we are going to get him back into rugby training,” said Robinson. “But it will take two or three sessions of running to see how he’s going. We’re a bit reluctant to commit ourselves to say he’ll be ready for round one but he may be.”

First-class first aid at Templeville Road

FULL MARKS to the first aid people at yesterday’s Leinster Schools Senior Cup match at Templeville Road between Blackrock College and Newbridge. When Newbridge’s Eoin Dempsey took a knee or a hip to the side of the head and appeared dazed, the medical staff were with him promptly and kept him well wrapped on the pitch despite the rain. The match was held up for 20 minutes before an ambulance arrived on to the pitch. Thankfully, the young player was able to walk into the ambulance, which took him to hospital as a precautionary measure.