RUGBY:A handful of hacks, mostly English, loitered around the handball centre early yesterday morning, awaiting entry to Croke Park. Scrawled on the wall, under the GOAL sign, was some fresh graffiti: "Don't say sorry. Say Goodbye. Brits out." The arriving drivers and passengers craned their necks to read the act of vandalism.

These included GAA president Nickey Brennan, who - despite flashing credentials - had his car boot checked at the entrance to the Cusack Stand, a routine operation.

Next came a taxi containing Brian Ashton and Phil Vickery. The security guard, perhaps flustered by media scrum, waved the Englishmen through the gate.

The rabble followed. We marched around the catacombs - just like being back on the GAA championship beat in high summer - to the press room under the Hogan Stand.

First on the agenda were the medical bulletins on Jonny Wilkinson and Jason Robinson. Robinson out. No news on Jonny (it was 9am).

Some English journalists wanted to know why a 23-year-old Harlequins winger had been promoted ahead of Mark Cueto.

"We looked at all the possibilities obviously and decided on David Strettle because he is the man in form," replied Ashton.

Could he elaborate on Strettle's primary attributes? Was it his footwork, power . . ?

"His speed?" interjected Ashton. "That's it, yeah. You've done it. Thank you very much. Do I need to add anything to that? He's been scoring tries on a regular basis at Premiership level and he scored an outstanding try against Ireland A in Belfast. He's a proven try scorer. In that sense he is a good replacement for another proven try scorer."

It seemed somewhat delusional to compare the uncapped Strettle (whose "outstanding try" in Ravenhill was down to outstandingly poor tackling) to the legendary Robinson. Ashton summed up the player as "unflustered".

Vickery comes across as a sound character. Straight up. That's why the remark about the possibility of Toby Flood coming in for Wilkinson seemed like a line from the PR department.

"I'm sure he will go out and give a good account of himself. We would all like Jonny to be playing but there is good continuity there so I don't think it is going to affect the team itself."

Do they know something we don't?

The English reporters had no interest in revisiting Ashton's 13 months as Irish coach so we took it upon ourselves to bring it up.

"All the Irish players I knew have retired, haven't they? I don't mean from rugby; I mean from life."

Uproarious laughter.

"The only one left is Denis Hickie, who is a very close friend of mine."

This was more like the Ashton of old. He is guaranteed a place in the annals of Irish rugby by that quote: "I'm not sure whose game plan that was out there, but it certainly wasn't mine." And in reference to Pa Whelan, while sitting next to the Limerick man: "Pat's Irish, I'm English, Pat's amateur, I'm professional."

He seems eminently comfortable in his current environment. Far from an AIL game. But seriously? "I think things have changed quite dramatically in Irish rugby in the last nine, 10 years."

"Two more questions, guys," said the PR fellow. "No? Okay, thanks."

We found our own way out of the Croke Park caverns. A Garda paddy wagon was blocking the vitriolic scribble, waiting for someone to arrive with the detergent.