GOLFING LOG: Incoming captains facing the ordeal of the traditional club drive-in may take some comfort from the knowledge that even the great ones have been made to suffer. As in the words which his old friend and rival, Michael Bonallack, confided to Joe Carr shortly before he was about to do the deed as captain of the Royal and Ancient for 1991-1992.

"You know, of course, that no captain has driven out of bounds here since the R & A was founded in 1754," said Bonallack, with a wicked grin. Even on the first tee at St Andrews, looking towards the spread of Europe's widest fairway, it still conjured up horrific images. Especially with the prospect of hundreds watching.

So Carr, one-time proud holder of the amateur records for both the Old and the New Course but then a rusty 69, took the precaution of heading for the beach, where he proceeded to hit 20 balls into the North Sea. And feeling a lot more at ease, he discharged his duty in impressive style, starting the shot down the left from where it cut back to the heart of the fairway.

Such memories are certain to dominate this weekend, as he contemplates his 80th birthday on Monday. The occasion will be celebrated with a family dinner at his home in Howth tomorrow night, in the company of his six children - Sibeal, Jody, Roddy, John, Marty and Gerry - and his wife Mary. It is a home, incidentally, with a glorious view of Ireland's Eye and where a stretch of wall was once shared with a dwelling of William Butler Yeats.

"I'm certainly surprised to have made it," he admitted yesterday with typical candour. "When I was 52 I had a heart attack and my cardiologist, Risteard Mulcahy, asked if I had made my will. And when I said 'No', he warned I'd better do it.

"Then he said: 'Joe if you ever smoke again, you've got five years.'" Against that background, it is hardly surprising to note a "No Smoking" sign dominating the living-room table, in front of the television.

Carr went on: "That was almost 28 years ago. So now, as I waken each day, I think to myself 'you're doing bloody well to be still around'. And if it all comes to an end today or tomorrow, I can have no complaints. I've had a very good life and I would change very little."

He ranks his first British Amateur success, after beating the American Harvie Ward at Hoylake in 1953, as the high point of a playing career which delivered 40 championship triumphs. But the greatest honour for a man who received the Bobby Jones Award in 1961 and is an honorary member of 60 golf clubs worldwide, was becoming the first Republic of Ireland citizen to captain the R & A.

"I once held 17 course records," he went on. "But with all the extra yardage that's been added, they're all gone, except one - my 64 at Gullane No 1." And his biggest disappointment? "Being beaten by Christy (O'Connor) for the Dunlop Masters at Portmarnock in 1959," he said. That was when Carr led by four strokes after 54 holes, only to be crushed by a course-record 66 from Himself. "It was the best chance I ever had to beat the pros."

Nowadays, as a constant reminder, he has a clear view of Portmarnock from the terrace of his cliff-side house. Yet the majestic links also remains the source of much pleasure, as the scene of gentle games with friends. And what of Bonallack's mischief? "I gave the same message to my successor," replied Carr with a hearty laugh.

Many happy returns, J C.

"He is still a force to be reckoned with. I saw him play the last six or seven holes and you know, his best club is still his courage."

- Distinguished guru John Jacobs, who worked with Jose Maria Olazabal for two decades, commenting on the Spaniard's Buick Inviational win last Sunday.

McCreevy's tax pitch

Isn't it wonderful the mileage Charlie McCreevy is getting out of his tax-concession scheme for professional sportsmen, who have remained faithful residents of the auld sod? And not a mention of the Fianna Fáil colleague who first floated the notion as far back as 14 years ago.

That was when the sports portfolio merited only a junior ministry, but the incumbent, Frank Fahey, spared no effort in exploiting Ireland's splendid Dunhill Cup win of 1988. Indeed in the wake of the St Andrews triumph, he proposed that Ireland's leading professional golfers should be exempted from tax, as honorary ambassadors for the country.

The move created quite a stir, especially since Des Smyth, the only Irish-based member of the winning trio, paid considerably more of his $100,000 prize in tax than English-based colleagues Eamonn Darcy and Ronan Rafferty. There was even talk about Smyth and Christy O'Connor Jnr becoming tax exiles.

Enter Minister Fahey. After much initial ballyhoo, however, the proposed scheme died a death, not least because of the country's horrific unemployment figures at that time.

Minister McCreevy is, of course, a much shrewder political animal than the current Minister of the Marine. And the electorate will, no doubt, be considerably kinder to him than they were to Fahey - who lost his seat at the next general election.

Still going strong at 90

Given our hostile weather and punishing courses, Joe Carr shouldn't dare read anything into this. But I thought it fascinating that an American, by the name of Cy Breen, played 90 holes of golf last weekend - to celebrate his 90th birthday.

Sure, it was in a buggy and on a short, par-three layout at Cimarron Golf Resort, California. But Breen - "I go dancing and watch what I eat - still had to endure a marathon of seven hours, 17 minutes while carding scores of 84, 84, 88, 79 and 91.

"I'm really not that tired but the last nine holes were disappointing," he said afterwards. "I found out that I play better golf when there's no gallery." Still, he achieved his objective of raising more than $10,000 towards the battle to fight breast cancer.

As it happens, his wife, Clarissa (66), was diagnosed with the disease last October. "I guess I found a good way to celebrate my birthday," he added modestly. Indeed.

Finding a different rhythm

In the 1955 Walker Cup at St Andrews, Joe Carr lost his singles to a singing golfer by the name of Don Cherry, who went on to gain fame with a recording of the ballad, Band of Gold. And as patrons of certain pubs in Waterville would vouch, the late Payne Stewart could also handle a tune.

So why not a singing woman golfer? That's what Penny Grice-Whittaker thought, when embarking on a singing career. And according to the Daily Telegraph, the former British Women's Open champion, with her blonde tresses now brunette, is to be found hammering out hits from Elvis Presley to Kylie Minogue, on the north of England club circuit for £250 per night.

"Unlike the men, women golfers have to look the part as well as play and unfortunately, I was never made for the catwalk," said Grice-Whittaker, who is married with two children.

And her ambitions as a singer? "I want folk coming to see me, not because I used to be a golfer, but because they have heard our act is good," she replied.

This day in golf history

On February 16th 1941, Henry Picard won his second Greater New Orleans Open with a tournament record 276. And we can take it that his reward of $1,200 would not have incurred the envy of Ben Hogan, given his kindness to The Hawk a few years earlier. That was when Hogan, in a hotel in Fort Worth, pointed to his wife Valerie while telling Picard: "I've got to quit. If I go back on the tour, we don't have the money for her to go with me." To which Picard replied: "I'm not the richest man in the world, but go ahead and play. If you run out of money, I'll take care of it."

TEASER: A player who started a round with 14 clubs, lost his putter. May he replace it during the round?

ANSWER: No. A lost club is not one which has become "unfit for play in the normal course of play".