Census and Leinster utterly scrambled by the men in red

TV View: The Big One! Has there ever been a sporting fixture so feverishly anticipated? Since we knew they'd meet in the semi…

TV View: The Big One! Has there ever been a sporting fixture so feverishly anticipated? Since we knew they'd meet in the semi-finals we've talked of little else. Well, nothing else. Even neutrals were enthralled.

So, who would make it to next month's final in Cardiff? Well, in the Red corner, history, tradition, passion, pedigree and a support like no other; in the Blue a bunch of blow-ins, fickle fly-by-nights and fancy dans. At least that's how the Reds see the Blues. Their supporters. And the team.

The Blues were favourites, most of their much maligned supporters thought they only had to turn up to win, but they never got going, in fact, apart from a late rally, you could say they well and truly bottled it. The Reds? To the brave and the faithful nothing is impossible. They rose, quite majestically, to the occasion.

But enough of Liverpool and Chelsea in the FA Cup, let's move on to that contest at Lansdowne Road yesterday.

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A very Irish affair, not least because both contestants were Irish, as was the venue. Sky Sports' Stuart Barnes, though, tried to get into the mood, tried to remind commentator Miles Harrison of the banner he'd spotted earlier. "Ireland by the grace of God, Munster by . . . no . . . Ireland by . . . Munster . . . Ireland by birth, Munster by the grace of God," he said, by now sorry he'd ever started. Miles could have said 'run that by me again', but he behaved.

Stuart was just as befuddled by the rather glorious sight that was the ocean of Red in Lansdowne. Like ourselves, he had assumed Leinster had home advantage.

"I can't believe I'm in Dublin and there's so much red, it's like a magnified Thomond Park," he said, concluding that when it comes to the art of acquiring European Cup tickets Munster's greater experience had paid off. Rather handsomely.

Over on RTÉ George Hook was complaining that the channel's interview with the Munster coach had revealed nothing. "But if you laid 100 Declan Kidneys end to end they still wouldn't reach a conclusion," he said, suggesting Kidney "epitomised the cute Cork lady of the night".

"The guy who goes between the two props, you mean," asked Tom McGurk. If he's brave enough to call Jerry Flannery a hoo-er then, well, fair play.

Back on Sky, Dewi Morris was all a-tremble, he had just seen Munster get off their coach and still hadn't got over the terror he felt when he saw the expressions on their faces. He wasn't just tipping Munster to win, he was worrying for Leinster's safety.

"Logic says Leinster," countered Stuart, who didn't understand that logic had feck all to do with the day that was in it.

"Hairs standing on the back of the neck, heart-thumping, gut-wrenching, it's got it all, quite simply it's a privilege to be here," said Ryle Nugent, and that was only when the teams came out.

George had told Tom earlier that so focused was he on the game ahead he hadn't even "thought of the sixth commandment" all week. "What is the sixth commandment?" asked Brent Pope. Well, it's not "thou shalt not take the name of the Lord God in vain", which is just as well, because "Jeeeeeeeeesus Gawd Almighty" was the gist of the response of the Leinster supporters to the manner in which Munster began the game.

"We had a spark in the Biarritz-Bath game yesterday, we have a conflagration here," said Barnes. Come half-time George was busy putting the boot into Leinster, having watched their European Cup hopes go up in conflagrated smoke.

"This has been a gutless performance by Leinster, Dublin 4 has laid down to the Lock and Blackrock and Limerick and Kerry," he said. Brent and Conor O'Shea couldn't disagree, but couldn't quite put it in the same way. Tom, though, pleaded for some fire in the belly from the hosts for the second half.

"If there's a Leinster team under the West Stand please come out," he said.

They did, in fairness, but alas, from their point of view, so did Munster. "I will never, ever, ever back against them again," vowed Sky's Scott Quinnell, who, by full time, was beginning to understand that Munster are a force of nature with which mere mortals should not meddle.

"They've been encouraged to return home tonight to sign the census, I don't think there's a chance," said Harrison of the Red Army. "Limerick might officially be a hamlet come midnight," giggled Simon Lazenby.

Although, if each and every one of RTÉ and Sky's viewers took up Paul O'Connell's invitation to join the lads in Jerry Flannery's bar last night the census will show that on the night of the European Cup semi-final Limerick had a bigger population than Tokyo and Mexico City. Combined.

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times