The golfing newswires were humming last weekend as 13-year-old Aree Wongluekiet battled to a top-10 finish in the first major of the women's season, the Nabisco Championship in California. We don't like to be outdone on the Golf Masters Tour and we weren't as our 12-year-old prodigy Mark Murphy stormed to third place on our weekly leaderboard with The Under Pars.

Murphy chose cleverly, including Tiger Woods in his original selection and bringing in Len Mattiace and Hal Sutton just in time for Sawgrass while ditching Peter Jacobsen and Paul Azinger. Mark's father John had shrewdly recommended the inclusion of Alastair Forsyth. A keen golfer and pitch and putt player, Murphy is a Golf Masters rookie and to buy his loyalty for when he makes it to the top of the game we will send him as small a polo shirt as we can find.

Rock bottom after eight events this season is John Guilfoyle. We're used to the lower reaches of our leaderboard (or should that be the upper reaches of our trailerboard?) being filled by the likes of Rory Timlin who make a virtue out of failure and in whose eyes bottom is really top. However, judging by his selections, we reckon that Guilfoyle is ranked 20,984th by accident rather than design. He may have gone into hiding as a result. We certainly haven't been able to contact him.

He splashed out £4.1 million on Jesper Parnevik whose only appearance was a missed cut at Sawgrass and £1.9 million on our second most popular player, Michael Campbell, who has been relaxing after his brilliant Australasian winter and is yet to hit a ball in anger on our Tour.

Many managers including second-frombottom Cathal McCarthy (Mac 2) and thirdfrom-bottom Alan Sheerin (Tony's Triers) will be hoping that another change of caddy will ignite Sergio Garcia's game while Steve Stricker, Notah Begay and Andrew Coltart also feature in several of our worst teams. It must be tempting to transfer but then again, who would have backed Roger in Rio? Decisions, decisions . . .