FA CUP weekend. The third round of the inspiring and historic FA Cup - if you are not the holders Manchester United and instead decide to fly to Brazil next month for a dubious World Club Championship.
Dubious in the sense that this year is the first time that the competition ever entered the public consciousness. Naturally Manchester United Entertainment Corp took the bait, for the sake of an utterly confused political agenda which hopes to attract the World Cup to England.
The FA Cup. Saturday afternoons in front of the box. Sundays too. And occasionally other days. Not as historic as it used to be. Not quite as traditional. The things that stick, though, are the big guys against the small guys. Bye bye West Ham. Cheerio Middlesbrough (now the Stadium of Dark). Adios Derby. That's the FA Cup. And on terrestrial television too you get the added sense of not having paid twice to watch the game.
Yesterday's battle between Huddersfield and Liverpool on ITV's The Big Match was FA Cup fare in its honourable form. The buzzing, chirpy Division One leaders against the Premiership behemoths. And what happens? Huddersfield divebomb Liverpool for 35 minutes They nip them, they sting, they bite but they never really put them down. They miss half a dozen chances and then up pops Liverpool's Tito Camara to casually volley in the first goal of the match. Against the run of play hardly describes this sour note for Huddersfield fans.
But this is what people have come to expect from the competition. Look at Sheffield United's 1-1 draw with Rushden and Diamonds - the Blades v the Diamonds. The "aristocrats of non-league football" go into the amphitheatre again after what appeared to be a stunning own goal and a penalty save failed to separate the teams.
The Cup is a big old sourpuss, willing to tread on the giant toes of English football and delighted to send the never-has-beens into soccer orbit. "It is still glittering," chanced Des Lynam to a chorus of approval from Barry Venison and Terry Venables. Not yesterday for Huddersfield, though.
Steve Staunton went off and Dominic Matteo came on to score Liverpool's second goal and send them into the next round. There is one club at least, who, along with perhaps Chelsea, Leeds or Arsenal are not wholly disappointed that Manchester United are more intent on global domination than winning the most cherished cup in the domestic game.
Some way into the first half of the match at McAlpine Stadium England's draw for the Euro 2000 finals flashed up on screen. Drawn against Portugal, Germany, and Romania seemed, on the face of it, pretty tough going for Kevin Keegan's often put-upon squad.
Back in the studio, Venison, looking more like singer George Michael than pundit Jimmy Hill, threw in his lot. "I'm quite happy we've got Portugal first. I think they are quite a weak team," he said.
It's not like Terry Venables to be silent. But there he was, dumbstruck, bemused, daring to think perhaps that in Venison's mind Scotland, who beat England at home in the qualification stages, are a great team.
One person who is rarely bemused is Eamon Dunphy. Dunphy popped up opposite Pat Spillane on Saturday night. The former Kerry footballing great was firing the questions and Dunphy gobbling them up with consummate ease. Uncompromising opinion interspersed with self deprecation seems to be Dunphy's style. Good guy, bad guy all in one. He will tag along, back-slapping and rolling with the laughs until a few prize subjects arise. Mick McCarthy was one of them.
"No," he said about the current Irish soccer manager. "I don't think Mick McCarthy is up to the job." Reminded that Dunphy also said that he would walk naked through the streets of Dublin if the eircom Stadium became a reality he laughed again and mentioned Joe Kinnear as a possible Irish manager.
Walking naked through the streets is a convincing way to convey to people that you are totally convinced of something. But that's what it's all about, isn't it, getting across a message that you absolutely know what you are talking about and will utterly back your opinion all the way - even to the High Court in fact. But we won't get into that.
