It could be described as a field of dreams for inventors of golf gadgets. The annual PGA of America Merchandising Show in Orlando, Florida has opened and closed its doors for another year, bringing wild hopes of riches to some exhibitors and bitter rejection to others.
The Irish were there, on both sides of the counter. And Dundalk's Martin Smith had the satisfaction of selling his putting invention "The Gimme" to none other than former US Open champion Tom Kite, who now plies his craft in senior ranks. Though the product retails at $50 Smith gave Kite a generous discount, naturally.
"It's been a tough slog since I started working on my invention five years ago and there were times when quitting looked to be very attractive," he said. "But after investing £200,000 of my own money, it looks as if I will finally make a go of it." Which is more than can be said for countless fellow travellers.
USGA officials find themselves at the sharp end of the rejection process, when inventions don't conform. As in the case of the man who developed a putter design which had a little bubble in the clubhead itself. On having it rejected by the USGA, he insisted: "You know, I spent so much time and money on this. Do you understand?" They did understand, but it was still non-conforming.
He went on: "I conceived of this idea in a foxhole in Korea. I was there defending my country when I came up with the concept for this design." After about four phone calls, technical director Frank Thomas felt obliged to tell him firmly, that the product still didn't conform.
Thomas takes up the story: "Next I heard from him he said: `I've had a divorce from my wife over this, I've spent so much money on it. And I would really like you to reconsider it.' But I replied: `I'm sorry about that.' The final one I got, he was writing from his hospital bed.
"He said: `I've had a heart attack, I divorced my wife, I thought about this in a foxhole and would you please reconsider it? I really need it. It's going to be the make-or-break thing of my life.' What do you do in a case like that?"
It was the last the USGA official heard of that particular inventor. And as he put it: "Telling them their product is non-conforming is almost like telling somebody they've got cancer."
For my own part, I've lost count of the calls I've received about Irish golf inventions over the years, 99 per cent of which were doomed to failure. Many ideas are prompted by a growing demand for corporate gifts at golf outings. But according to Smith: "Suppliers won't buy those gifts unless they're endorsed by a leading personality. So there's no easy route into the market."
Yet the situation is not without hope. During a recent game at Royal Dublin with Albert Lee, chairman of the Leinster Branch GUI, a chilling wind drew me towards an ingenious item on the handle of his electric golf trolley. It was a simple, fleece-lined sleeve which covered his hand while he guided the trolley along. Would it conform to requirements? Absolutely.
"Mr Riley's behaviour was completely unacceptable. He is now persona non grata and can take his business elsewhere." A South African Airways spokesman after Australian professional, Wayne Riley, was accused of drunken and threatening behaviour on a flight from Johannesburg to Perth last week.
