This is the final Test in the Ashes series and a jolly good job too. There is only so much a fellow can stand. Until Phil Tufnell restored some sanity to proceedings (Tufnell? Sanity?) with a brace of wickets in his opening two overs, England, desperately seeking a performance to match their good intentions, had had a dog of a day.

Batting first (Atherton Wins Toss Shock) they lost both openers to Glenn McGrath and the new ball, but with careful application then survived until lunch, taken at 97 for two, before an afternoon session of mindnumbing madness, even by England standards, saw them all out for 180. The last eight wickets had fallen for 83 in 26 overs, McGrath finishing with 7 for 76, the best by an Australian bowler on this ground for 85 years. Alec Stewart made 36 which might be described as another Gaffer cameo come to a premature end had it not been top score.

The Australian reply put McGrath's bowling - another masterpiece of technical excellence and intelligence - in its context. Devon Malcolm appears to have a view of his Trent Bridge performance in the last Test as inflated as the giant helium balloon that bobbed up and down for most of the day at the Vauxhall End, and his first ball, a wide, slow long-hop which was smashed to the square boundary by Matthew Elliott, brought both him and balloon down to earth.

Peter Martin, from the wrong end, then resumed his England career with a wide, and of the 49 runs that came in 11 overs for the first wicket, 40 were in boundaries. It was horrible, the brakes only applied when Tufnell, to his unbridled delight, bowled Elliott out of the rough with his fourth ball and then had Mark Taylor smartly picked up by Hollioake at shortleg. The light was beginning to close in, however, and by the second of two stoppages, Greg Blewett and Mark Waugh had taken the score on to 77 for two. England will have their work cut out today.

Poor as England batted however, it would be insulting to attempt to diminish the quality of McGrath's bowling, or that of Shane Warne, who from the moment he came on to bowl the 10th over of the match, spun the ball sharply to take 2 for 32.

The Australian attack may have been diluted by the absence of Gillespie and Reiffel but England still found themselves bemused by, unquestionably, the leading pace bowler and leading spinner in the world.

McGrath's 36 wickets to date have been bettered by an Australian in an Ashes series only by Terry Alderman (42 in 1981 and 41 in 1989) Rodney Hogg (41 in 1978-79) and Dennis Lillee (39 in 1981).

Unusually, given the tropical nature of the weather, the Oval pitch did not start bone dry, and England, while never hesitating in batting first, would have been aware that until the residual dampness burnt away, the morning session would be awkward. Butcher will have regretted the loose pull shot that under-edged onto his stumps and Atherton was unlucky to get an inside edge to Ian Healy, but Alec Stewart and Nasser Hussain knuckled down, played stoically, and England would have settled for the lunchtime situation.

The afternoon brought disaster. It began with Stewart's leg before decision - a poor one by Peter Willey, the ball clearly too high - immediately on resumption. The 73 he and Hussain added was England's highest for the third wicket all summer.

The real damage came in mid-afternoon however, when in the space of four overs, Hussain, on 35, clipped McGrath low to Elliott at mid-on, Thorpe (27), having hit McGrath for three boundaries in an over, was bowled round his legs from around the wicket, an angle that would have baffled Pythagoras, Hollioake was bowled for nought, mysteriously offering no stroke to a ball from Warne and Ramprakash unlucky perhaps to glove McGrath on to his body and from there to shortleg. 128 for three had become 132 for seven and the game was on its head.

Only some lustiness from Martin and Andy Caddick averted total capitulation. Martin made 20, while Caddick opened his account by hooking Warne for six over midwicket and hit three more boundaries in his unbeaten 26. Warne had Tufnell caught at short leg and Kasprowicz, with embarrassing ease, added to Malcolm's collection of ducks.

Guardian Service