BEIJING IT wasn't. The opening ceremony at the 37th Ryder Cup in Valhalla won't be remembered for the Baptist church-like stage, the dressage riders and the marching band but rather for the clumsy self indulgence of European captain Nick Faldo's monologue.
Protocol is an integral part of these occasions, so it would have been unrealistic to expect anything other than a name check, a potted history of the tournament and a spiel about Corinthian values from officials on both sides of the Atlantic. Mercifully they kept it reasonably brief in the sweltering Kentucky sunshine.
The same could not be said of Nick Faldo, whose opening remark was a rather churlish swipe at the order of speaking. He obviously expected US captain Paul Azinger to address the gathering first and that may have been agreed but his petulant, "it's good to get the running order right," was inappropriate.
It's not as if he didn't have his notes stuffed inside his jacket pocket. There was a certain karma in the fact that, patently nervous, he made several gaffes, one or two of which were downright crass. Faldo spent the majority of his time while on his feet extolling the virtues of his family, primarily his three children and parents.
A certain pride is understandable but he dwelt on this aspect of his speech far longer than was necessary. Earlier in the afternoon Faldo had welled up in the press room when discussing what it was like to meet Muhammad Ali, so it wasn't going to be a huge shock when he borrowed a few of the great boxer's lines. He should give them back straight away.
At one point he called the Louisville venue Val-der-halla; it's obviously a cross between Kentucky and Spain. By the sounds of his ramblings about Norse legend - Valhalla, geddit? - he'd spent a few minutes on Google. When he did get around to finally introducing his team, it proved no respite from his facility for planting his foot firmly in his mouth.
He presented Denmark's Soren Hansen as Soren Stenson, a comforting moment no doubt for the Ryder Cup rookie before going on in his resume of Pádraig Harrington to suggest that he had hit more golf in practice "than potatoes planted in Ireland". No obvious stereotyping there then.
Perhaps the most disturbing moment came when before introducing Graeme McDowell he turned round to the Portrush native and asked him: "Are you from Ireland or Northern Ireland?" Presumably he's bumped into him at some stage during the course of the week and could have asked him: one of many cringe inducing moments.
Azinger managed immediate empathy with the audience when he observed: "I want to thank Nick for being brief," before rolling his eyes to the heaven. He wasn't the only one who felt like aping that gesture.
The only consolation is that the opening ceremony heralds the arrival of the Ryder Cup proper where the eloquence on the fairways will be of greater interest.
