AGAINST THE ODDS:THE BLOOD drained from Vinny Fitzpatrick's face. He was so ashen he made Avram Grant look like beetroot.

All around him there was whooping and hollering as Macker, Fran, Brennie and Kojak celebrated playing their Get Out of Jail card in the final race of the opening day of the Cheltenham Festival.

They had backed Crack Away Jack each-way in the Fred Winter Juvenile Hurdle after getting a tip in the Guinness Tent from a half-shot former jockey who had "the inside track".

Vinny, meanwhile, stayed loyal with the David Pipe-trained Ashkazar favourite, placing £50 on the nose - his biggest bet of the day - and was unable to share in the celebrations.

For Vinny, the outcome was the concluding insult on a day when the bleeding began early and he was unable to apply a tourniquet. One by one, his selections evaporated on the punishing Cheltenham hill.

He had Captain Cee Bee as his Bismarck of the day and rowed in with Binocular, the other JP McManus horse, who was caught and passed after the last by, of all horses, Captain Cee Bee.

In succession, Thyne Again and Sublimity bit the dust. He broke even on Patsy Hall for a place, but Heads Onthe Ground let him down. Worse, Ruby Walsh, his banker to become top jockey at the Festival, drew a blank.

"Can it get any worse?" he muttered to himself as he nursed a quiet pint.

And yet, the trip to the Cotswolds had begun so promisingly. Catching the 6.30am Monday red-eye to Birmingham meant forgoing the Sunday night constitutional in Foley's - a rare event - but it also left the lads with buckets of time to fill upon touchdown.

"Bit early for a jar, I suppose?" mused Fran as they loaded into the Mondeo Estate at the airport. It wasn't half-past eight. The others fired a quick look at one another, but their hopes were shot down. "Wait until we get to our digs in Bristol," snarled Macker, the designated driver.

Ahead of the 100-mile jaunt, Kojak suggested an excursion to Stratford races. "It would kill a few hours and we might make a few bob."

Again, Macker wasn't biting. "It's cold, wet and windy. Let's keep going," he snapped.

Vinny sat in the privileged front passenger seat, keeping his counsel. As the master navigator, his job was to keep Macker on the straight and narrow and ensure they arrived at The Pen and Ink in Thornbury, outside Bristol, in one piece.

"First exit at the roundabout, Macker," he said quietly. A few miles later he spoke again. "Fifth exit here and join the M42."

After 20 minutes of hard driving, Vinny recommended breakfast at a service station, and it was there, while chasing a slippery piece of bacon around a greasy plate with his fork, he had a brainwave.

"Why don't we drop into Cheltenham? There'll be nobody there and we can have a mooch," he said.

As one, the lads looked at Macker. It was his call. To their unbridled joy, he was up for it.

"C'mon, polish off that rubber sausage. Let's go," he said.

Within half an hour they had bluffed their way into the racecourse car park, slipping a score to a security guy on the gate.

"'Lads, look like you know what you're doing," he quipped as he called them through.

Vinny looked around. Cheltenham had changed since his first visit 25 years ago when Michael Dickinson saddled the first five in the Gold Cup and he had backed the winner, Bregawn.

It was now a space-age racecourse, all white, shiny and huge. Was it really that long ago, he wondered? "Wouldn't back myself to be around in another 25 years," he muttered to himself.

As they leaned against the railings at the unsaddling enclosure, they ran a quick sweep on the number of Irish-trained winners over the four days - a tenner a man, sterling.

Vinny predicted six winners, Fran went for five, Macker took four. After some deliberation, Kojak opted for seven, while Brennie, as tail gunner, got two picks, three winners or fewer and eight winners or more.

Trying to look casual, they clambered over the running rail out on to the course and looked uphill in awe towards the winning post. "You just don't appreciate how stiff that climb is on the telly, do you?" said Kojak quietly.

In the lee of scenic Cleeve Hill, the five friends walked a furlong or so during which Fran declared the ground was good, good to soft in places. Macker turned to Vinny: "One of your very best ideas, Fitzpatrick."

The mood was upbeat as they swept down the M5 before turning off near Bristol to find their hideaway. Here, Vinny's legendary homing skills came into play as he directed Macker to the front door of The Pen and Ink, in the tiny hamlet of Much Benham.

The welcoming, low-slung, oak-beamed bar boasted an exceptional selection of local beers and ales - Vinny discovered a particular attachment to Mole Catcher bitter - and a fine menu.

After a night's plotting, and some serious imbibing, the lads fell into their cots: Vinny had his own horsebox as his Richter Scale snoring made him an impossible companion.

Refreshed, Vinny was hopeful, rather than confident, of what lay ahead as they set off on day one of the adventure. His bankers were in place, and before he'd left Clontarf he'd spread another €300 on six other bets - all €25 each-away and almost all Irish, he'd noted.

They were: Forpadydeplasterer (Ballymore Novices' Hurdle), Cottage Oak (Bumper), Mr Strachan (Jewson Novices' Chase), Robin du Bois (Champion Hurdle), Hordago (Kim Muir) and Maralan (Grand Annual) - trainer Oliver Brady's celebrations were worth the bet alone.

That still left another €600, which he converted to £400 and took into battle convinced of his immortality. Yet, he was down £200 already and there were three days left.

With negative vibes about Inglis Drever in the World Hurdle, Vinny battened down the hatches in preparation for a long week - and that was before Angie entered the arena on Thursday.

Time to inflict damage to the Mole Catcher, he thought.

1pt e/w Cottage Oak in Weatherbys Champion Bumper (7/2, general)

1pt e/w Hordago in Kim Muir Handicap Chase (12/1, Coral)

1pt Lay Twist Magic in Champion Chase (3/1, Liability 3pts)