It had been a perfect day, the best of his career, for Bob Alexander after the 25-year-old Lossiemouth striker scored four goals in a do-or-die, all-or-nothing, sink-or-swim, bottom-of-the-Highland League clash with Brora Rangers, which Lossiemouth won 6-2. Bob became the first man to score four goals for the club in one game for 40 years so, naturally enough, wanted to keep the match ball as a memento of his finest 90 minutes.

Problem was the ball ended up in the back garden of a neighbouring house and when he went to retrieve it the irate owner told him where she'd stick it if he came one step closer. The woman told him she was sick and tired of her house being peppered with wayward shots from Lossiemouth games and, even after the intervention of club officials, refused to hand the ball over. Bob gave up, a broken man, but the club promised him they'd send someone around the next day to see if the woman had calmed down. At the time of going to press no one had yet volunteered themselves for the task.