CRICKET:Duncan Fletcher made a grim-faced public apology for an England display of staggering ineptitude yesterday as a mortifying tour of Australia saw the infliction of further punishment on a side staggering from one disaster to another.
Fletcher's survival as England's coach beyond the World Cup is surely now inconceivable after one of the worst weeks in their one-day history. A tour that seemed to have reached its nadir when England were dismissed for 120 against New Zealand on Tuesday plunged to new depths when Australia routed them for 110.
The only way is up. Isn't it?
The Australian newspaper said today that England should be voted off the island: "In the era of reality television, it's time to go England."
Things are so bad they would struggle in a vote-off with Jade Goody. A nine-wicket defeat here in a match lasting only 59 overs, and a day-night international completed at 6.45pm, meant a capacity Australia Day crowd suffered a non-event.
Fletcher's apology for the manner of a defeat is unprecedented, but words are no longer enough to mollify his critics. Perhaps for the first time in his seven-year reign he must now fear that he can no longer motivate his team.
While the England and Wales Cricket Board maintain a pretence of calm, Fletcher himself must be harbouring thoughts of resignation. "We must apologise for our performance, there is no doubt about that," he said. "I don't think the side are as bad as they played today. But they are despondent.
"We have to apologise. We haven't batted well in two or three games now. We'll have to have a look at the guys. They have tried their hardest and no one can say they aren't giving it their best efforts. They are really annoyed with their performance. The clatter of wickets has become too familiar."
England's humiliation had been privately predicted by at least one senior South Australian coach, who had observed two unfocused net sessions leading up to the match with disbelief.
But Fletcher balked at any admission that England's one-day side, which has persistently underachieved during his years as coach, have never played as badly as during the past few days.
"I'll never say which is my best team performance or my worst," he said.
"We have been in these situations before and come out of them."
Andrew Flintoff's second stint this winter as stand-in captain is piling on the pain. Flintoff's relationship with Fletcher is not a natural one - the chance that a Vaughan/Fletcher axis can salvage something is England's only hope for the World Cup - but he insisted that the coach still had the support of the dressingroom.
"Yes, of course he does," Flintoff said.
"Duncan has been fantastic. He has taken this side forward in the past few years. If you speak to every lad in the dressingroom, they have improved by working with him. Now it is up to us to repay him and put some performances in.
"The coach and the coaching staff give us all the tools. They work with us, they help us, and ultimately it is up to the lads who walk out on to the field. When you are in the middle batting it is down to you. The coach can only give you so much."
At 72 for two in the 16th over England could not have envisaged the horrors to come. Then Ian Bell, who had played with much more purpose than of late for his 35 in 31 balls, cut Stuart Clark weakly to point - and the last eight wickets fell for 38 in 19 overs. They did it in perfect light, on a thoroughly decent batting surface and with Australia having rested Glenn McGrath and Nathan Bracken.
Mal Loye did land his trademark slog-sweep on the top of the Chappell Stand, but Australia and New Zealand have scrutinised his game, spotted his closed-face grip and three times dismissed him slashing at a wide ball. Brett Lee was the bowler to benefit yesterday.
For Strauss every innings seems like Groundhog Day. He struggled to 17 from 32 balls, as bereft as ever, before an intended guide to third man landed conveniently in the gloves of Adam Gilchrist. The only senior batsman left standing, he has buckled under the responsibility.
Australia can be congratulated on the pressure they imposed, but England succumbed to a succession of weak dismissals. Ed Joyce pulled Lee high to mid-on, Paul Collingwood's poor attempt to drive Andrew Symonds over the top had the bowler scratching his head in bemusement and Flintoff chased a wide one.
Jamie Dalrymple received a half-decent ball from Mitchell Johnson, Liam Plunkett's first match of the tour brought a duck and Paul Nixon again looked out of his depth.
When Australia batted, England did manage to run out Gilchrist, thanks to Plunkett's alert pick-up and throw from mid-off.
But it got no better than that. Guardian Service
Scoreboard
ENGLAND
A Strauss c Gilchrist b Johnson 17
M Loye c Gilchrist b Lee 9
I Bell c Clarke b Clark 35
E Joyce c Johnson b Lee 11
P Collingwood c Clark b Symonds 3
A Flintoff c Ponting b Johnson 16
JDalrymple c Gilchrist b Johnson 10
P Nixon c & b Hogg 4
L Plunkett c Clarke b Johnson 0
C Tremlett c White b Hogg 0
M Panesar not out 0
Extras(w5)5
Total(34.3 overs) ... 110
Fall of wickets: 1-14; 2-47; 3-72; 4-79; 5-81; 6-103; 7-106; 8-106; 9-107.
Bowling: Lee 8-2-8-2; Johnson 10-2-45-4; Clark 5-0-21-1; Symonds 5-0-20-1; Hogg 6.3-0-16-2.
AUSTRALIA
A Gilchrist run out 23
M Hayden not out 30
R Ponting not out 51
Extras(lb2 w4 nb1)7
Total(1 wkt , 24.3 overs) ... 111
Fall: 1-32
Did Not Bat: M Hussey, A Symonds, M Clarke, C White, G Hogg, S Clark, M Johnson.
Bowling: Plunkett 5-0-39-0; Tremlett 9.3-0-41-0; Flintoff 3-1-4-0; Panesar 5-0-19-0; Dalrymple 2-0-6-0.
Australia beat England by 9 wkts
