Not for the first time Manchester United are in trouble for breaking Premier League rules over the signing of schoolboys who don't live within 90 minutes of Old Trafford. Kalum Mooniaruck (who's only 15 and already has a boot deal with Nike) is a London lad so, strictly, should be attached to a London club, but United fly him to and from Manchester every week, putting him up in digs in Sale.

The flight takes less than 90 minutes so the club thought they had cleverly circumvented the rule, but have now been told that "the 90 minute distance between player and academy has to be travelled by car". No problem, we reckon - just get David Beckham or Andy Cole to chauffeur him up and down the motorway in their nippy Ferraris. Eighty minutes, max.