The Scottish Highlands is home to a new outbreak of the foot-in-mouth crisis. Former Lions and Scotland captain Finlay Calder demonstrated the classic symptoms, or at least appeared to when quoted prior to Saturday's Calcutta Cup match between England and Scotland at Twickenham. He said: "If Iain Balshaw is an international full back then I'm Mel Gibson."

You probably know already that the English player went on to score two tries in the aforementioned game and proved the catalyst for many of England's better attacking moments. Calder is presently examining potential backdrops in the Curragh, Co Kildare for the shooting of the sequel to Braveheart. There has been no word on his co-star as yet but the Scottish international did indicate that he was interested in taking the lead role in another film, which is based on the life of Marcel Marceau.