Oh Brian Buttimer, what can we say? "I guess it will be Monty and then I'll just have to cross my fingers, bunker down and pray," he said last week when he told us he was using his one remaining transfer to replace Tiger Woods with Colin Montgomerie for the final three weeks of the competition.
In light of subsequent events we can only assume that Brian also walked under a ladder, spotted a lone magpie in his back garden, spilt a container of salt on the kitchen floor and broke the mirror in his bathroom, some time after he made that call. Whatever, the Golf Masters' gods weren't smiling upon Colin Rutherford's closest challenger in week 27.
Where do we start? Thursday? Montgomerie was penalised two strokes for being precisely 20 seconds late for his scheduled tee-off time at the International Open in Munich. Finished with a round of 72. Friday? Shot a round of 74 and missed his first cut in two years and 55 tournaments. In the end he only won Brian £500 more than Tiger Woods earned in week 27, and he wasn't even playing.
Mention of Woods merely serves to increase Brian's pain. His surprise announcement that he was playing in this week's Canadian Open was, we reckon, a source of considerable consternation for (a) Brian, (b) the managers of the other 63 teams who fired him last week (no one transferred him in), (c) the rest of the Canadian Open field and (d) the phone operators at the tournament ticket centre - the lines were jammed once the news came out.
So, Woods - who now appears in just three top 10 teams, the leaders Glenmore Eagles 2, third-placed Sizzlechest and Celtic Tiger in fifth - is playing this week . . . and Montgomerie isn't (Brian was one of 41 managers to replace Woods with Monty last week). Can things get any worse? Well, yes . . . if the bookies' favourite (are they taking bets any more?) wins his ninth title of the year on Sunday evening.
Is there any hope for Brian and the rest of the Woods-less teams? We don't really think so but our resident golf anorak informed us, upon hearing that Woods was Montrealbound, that the last time he played the Canadian Open, in July 1997, he missed the cut, for the first time in his professional career, triple-bogeying the first hole in his second round on his way to a six-over 76. ("And what's Kirk Triplett's mother-in-law's name," we scoffed. "Mary-Beth," he replied. "Uh oh").
The only silvery-ish lining on the thundery black Golf Masters' clouds circling over Brian's head at the moment is, despite Montgomerie's woes, he still managed to narrow Colin's lead in week 27 - mind you, only by £1,500. Our top two earned just £27,000 between them, with Fionn Murphy not doing much better - his team increased their overall earning by a mere £28,250.
Alan Crawford, Michael Daly and Des Heather took advantage of the leaders' poor showing, with all three moving in to the top eight after earning over £100,000 at the weekend. Alan (the only top 10 manager with a transfer left) and Michael both had International Open winner Thomas Bjorn on board while Des made up some ground thanks to Carl Suneson's third place finish in Munich and Greg Owen's share of fifth.
David Mills will be setting off from Carrigaline, Co Cork, for Tulfarris, Co Wicklow, any day soon after Charizard netted him a fourball in week 27 - Bjorn, Bernhard Langer and Suneson, the top three in Germany, won the bulk of his team's £286,100 earnings.
Only a fortnight to go - all eyes on this week's European Masters and the above-mentioned Canadian Open. And cheer up Brian Buttimer, this week couldn't possibly be worse than last. Just remember to salute that magpie next time you see him.
