Day Seven. Wait till you hear this. Yesterday I was inundated with one email from Padraic who had read here on Thursday all about Brendan's suspicion that George Hamilton is watching each match about two seconds before we are. "Am I going doo-lally," Brendan had asked and we had replied, somewhat reluctantly because we didn't want to be rude, "well . . . yes". But hold on a minute.
"I am delighted to have finally seen proof that I am not the only one who thinks that George DOES commentate 2-3 seconds in advance of the pictures," wrote Padraic. Example? There was an incident in the 1994 World Cup when George went "oh, it's a penalty" before the tackle was even made. Then there was the time when a corner was being taken, he said "cleared by Babb" before the ball even came across. (cleared by Babb?) It gets better. So perturbed was our Padraic by these strange happenings he and a couple of friends ran an experiment during USA '94. "We put two televisions in the same room for a game - the pictures were synchronised but Motty was normal and George was always ahead of the game." "I was, and apparently I am not alone, convinced that RTE show delayed pictures - look into it, this could be your Watergate," said Padraic. "The truth is out there . . ." Mmm, Georgegate?
Well, with all the zeal of Woodward and Bernstein, we studied yesterday's Czech Republic v France game but still didn't come up with enough evidence to impeach George. Tell you what though, his partner, Jim Beglin, has a very Deep Throat. For now we'll have to assume that George is just perceptive (or else that it was the time delay between here and USA '94 that was the problem), a bit more so than the commentator on Eurosport/Yahoo's on-line coverage of the Italy v Belgium game the other night. According to Football 365, 10 minutes after Italy had had a "goal" ruled out the bright spark said, "it might be a bit late for you, but we've just found out that the third goal was disallowed". We'll be kind - maybe there was a time delay.
Czech Republic v France. Alan Hansen and Davo "as I said" Leary were swooning over Lilian Thuram, the man Big Ron Atkinson says could never play in England with a christian name like that (didn't stop Liverpool signing Emily Heskey). "I have a lovely chairman and if he really loved me he'd buy me him," said Davo of the French right-back. ("Ahem" we could hear a fellow member of the right-back's union mutter, one Gary Kelly).
"Insouciance is the term," said Eamo Dunphy of the French at halftime, and once we looked it up in the dictionary we agreed. Cheeky shower of so-and-sos, but God they're a bit good when they're in the mood. Observation: Fabien Barthez wears 16 on his back because it's his favourite number. What do you think his chances are of acquiring said shirt when he arrives at Old Trafford later this summer? "Less than zero," says Roy Keane.
Holland v Denmark. "The Danish players were visited by their wives this week and they visited a wildlife reserve - some people would say that's one and the same thing," said Clive Tyldsley on ITV. Big Ron nearly fell off the gantry chuckling. Half-time. "They're no good, Cocu's a duck egg in midfield," said Eamo. "Bergkamp is way too much backwards," complained Ruud Gullit on ITV. "They're a team without any ideas," he added. But then the backward duck eggs won 3-0 which, of course, George Hamilton could have told you some time earlier because, after all, he'd seen it all before. Spooky.
