Gaelic Games

‘Brolly on the pitch did gloat, Biden led with hope’: GAA meets ChatGPT

The Schemozzle: Che Cullen’s cult hero status; rare victory for Warwickshire; marathon over 70s handball

Former Derry player Joe Brolly in a haiku with Joe Biden. Photograph: Andrew Paton/Inpho
Former Derry player Joe Brolly in a haiku with Joe Biden. Photograph: Andrew Paton/Inpho
Paul Fitzpatrick
Mon Apr 17 2023 - 09:00

The Schemozzle has been busy of late testing out ChatGPT, the artificial intelligence chatbot. Fair warning: GAA geeks could easily lose a few hours down this rabbit hole.

So, to save you time, we asked the obvious topical questions so you don’t have to. Here goes ...

Q: Describe Marty Morrissey’s voice.

A (abridged): Marty Morrissey’s voice is well-known for its distinctive tone and cadence. He has a deep, gravelly voice ... a rich, warm quality, and he speaks with a gentle, rhythmic lilt that is characteristic of the Munster region of Ireland.

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Q: Use Stephen Cluxton as an adjective.

“The team’s defense (sic) was Stephen Cluxton-esque in their determination to protect their goal.”

Q: Describe Tyrone football in three words.

A: “Defensive, Resilient, Tactical.”

And our personal favourite:

Q: Write a haiku about Joe Brolly and Joe Biden.

A: “Two great Joes of note, Brolly on the pitch did gloat, Biden led with hope.”

Our robot overlords have spoken.

Number – 13

Of the Tyrone 15 who started the 2021 All-Ireland final started against Monaghan.

Warwickshire clinch famous win

One result which may slip under the radar was Warwickshire’s victory over Cavan in the Lory Meagher Cup in Birmingham.

The win was the Exiles’ first since beating Longford in the Nicky Rackard Cup opening round Nicky Rackard Cup on May 12th, 2019 – a whopping 1,435 days previously.

They were very competitive in the Rackard up to 2019 but in 2020, their form collapsed. They lost four of five games in Division 2B (scoring just 0-1 in one of those, against Kildare) and conceded the other before losing the relegation play-off to London.

Due to travel-related restrictions, they didn’t play championship in 2020 or 2021 nor league in 2021. Last year, they were winless in 10 games but they ended that run yesterday, a man with a familiar Brummie name, Jack Grealish, hitting 2-7.

Cult hero Cullen

Fermanagh’s Che Cullen did his cult status no harm with another barnstorming performance for the Erne men against Derry.

The former All-Star nominee, a MacRory Cup medallist in 2012, is regarded as one of the best defenders in the game and after his two-salvo against Derry, he now tops the championship goalscorers’ list, too.

The Belnaleck native is probably the only man to play inter-county football while living in Hungary, as he did in 2019. And to top it all off, he has the coolest name as well – although something was clearly lost in translation on the team list which was published by Croke Park on Friday, with the full-back listed under the slightly less exotic nom de guerre ‘Shea Cullen’.

Marathon over 70s handball match

The new National Handball Centre at Croke Park finally opened for business last week, with a host of All-Ireland finals, including the men’s and ladies Senior Doubles deciders.

Yesterday, the action continued at Croker with the Masters finals. Pride of place has to go to Dublin’s Eugene Kennedy and Ned Flynn, who saw off Tipperary’s Jim Ryan and Paddy Collins in the All-Ireland over 70s final in a marathon.

The Dubs defeated their fellow septuagenarians 21-15, 19-21, 11-7.

Quote

He got into some of those positions in the league and he missed a few of them but Dad might have been doing a bit of coaching with him, he saved them for championship.

Éamonn Fitzmaurice, on co-comms, with a compliment for colleague Peter Canavan, on analysis, after Peter’s son Darragh hit the net.