The last thing Paul Cahillane wants to talk about is regret.
At 16, he left Portlaoise for Glasgow Celtic, played three years with their youths team, gave himself every chance of a breakthrough into the big league. It was hard and often lonely and it just wasn’t to be.
“When you go over, a lot of people don’t realise it, but you’re only 16, you have to move away from home, and are thrown into a professional lifestyle,” he says. “The record is quite low on the return of lads that are making it, and for obvious reasons, if you think about it. You are 100 per cent a commodity. It’s a business.
“If you came into our school, when I was in first year, and asked me what I was going to be, it was a professional footballer. I was very focused on that, even for the three or four years I was in school, even though I did apply myself, all I wanted to be was a footballer.
“But I changed as a young lad, grew up very quickly. I was 16, going to a different country, and I was an adult coming home. And I was very capable of playing senior football when I came home because of it. I picked up small aspects of the professional lifestyle, and then when I went in with Laois, I think that really counted.”
Only now, the first thing Cahillane wants to talk about is regret. On Sunday, his club Portlaoise play their third Leinster football final in four years, having lost the previous two to Dublin opposition. Portlaoise still top the all-time list with seven titles in all. Standing in their way in Tullamore on Sunday are Dublin club Ballyboden St Enda’s, who have yet to win won a Leinster title.
Now 26, Cahillane is nothing but grateful for the way Portlaoise welcomed him back after his three-year journey with Celtic, and although he helped them win the Leinster title in 2009, the defeats of more recent years remain a source of considerable regret.
“After winning in 2009, we played Kilmurry-Ibrickane in the All-Ireland semi-final, lost a man after 20 seconds, then lost another man five minutes into the second half. So it was all uphill after that. That’s one regret. We’d also have regrets about the (2012) Leinster final against Ballymun, because I don’t think we performed anywhere near as well as we could have.
Better team
“The following year, against Vincent’s, we played well and they played well and the better team won on the day. But those games would be the biggest regrets over the years. Are we going to do it again on Sunday? I don’t know. But I don’t need to tell you what it would mean to me.”
At 19, the year he returned from Celtic, Cahillane also went back to complete his Leaving Cert, and later got a degree from Maynooth College. He’s now teaching at Portlaoise CBS.
“I was with Wexford Youths this year, for half a season,” he says. “We won the league (Division One) so it was a nice bonus. You have to be kind of disciplined in the way you treat your body in the off season, but I kind of class myself as a dual player. Although it’s not hurling; soccer and football are my two loves. It’s increasingly difficult the higher the level you go. So I think I’m going to have to make a choice soon.
“I don’t know what will happen with Wexford Youths; at the moment the only focus I have on Sunday is Portlaoise and GAA and that’s really how it’s been for the last few years.
“The soccer stuff just fell into place, it wasn’t really planned. It just kind of happened and I went with the flow. But it was a tough time when I came back after being released from a club.”
Still, there are no regrets, not even when he talks about Richie Towell, who also played with Glasgow Celtic youths around the same time Cahillane did, and now, having helped Dundalk win two league titles, and scored the winning goal in last month’s FAI Cup final, has just signed a professional contract with Brighton and Hove Albion.
“Yeah, I was with Richie at Celtic, but again no ifs or buts. I chose one path and he chose the other and it’s worked out for him brilliantly. He was totally dedicated, and I can tell you, was training harder, getting to the gym more, eating better, than anyone else in that league. Knowing his attitude, it was only a matter of time.”
For Cahillane, meanwhile, while not looking beyond Sunday, there is still the prospect of returning to play with Laois, particularly now that former Laois manager Mick Lillis has taken charge.
“No, I’ve definitely not closed the book on it. It didn’t work out over the last couple of years, the soccer took off, and I just went with the flow. If I am lucky enough to get a call in, I will have to sit down and weigh up what I want to do next year.
“That conversation is a long way down the road. But the GAA has started to become more and more prominent, and I realise how much community spirit and a close-knit family and a group of friends can benefit you when you are going through a tough time.”
