The Stuttgart Golf fair commenced on Thursday last in an annex to the Caravan Motor and Tourist Trade fair. It is an impressive side show with golf complexes from as near as the environs of Stuttgart, Germany to as far as the sands of Doha, Qatar represented. Moving from the main thoroughfare of the CMT hall you are immediately greeted by an air of affluence and exclusivity, a fair representation of golf in Germany. I drift over to the Irish Tourist board stand, and beside them a separate stand promotes a three-star guest house in Galway. They are already busy "promoting".
On approaching the main body of stands, I hear what sounds like someone beating carpets. On arrival at the Austrian stand I realise my mistake, it's a German trying to get a golf ball over a lake and onto a green. You mean a golf hole inside the hall? No, of course not. Its all happening on a very elaborate golf simulator. These are obviously very popular in countries such as Austria where there are few courses. Needlless to say there is a lot of interest in "Austria", a large group has gathered around some par three at the Salzburg golf club. The first "contestant" was clutching an expensive Callaway iron as if he was about to scythe a field of hay. When he finally made contact with the ball, on his third attempt, it must have come off the hosel because the onlookers shied away in unison as the ball ricocheted off the side netting, missing the Salzburg course completely, coming to rest behind the offending "golfer".
He retrieved his jacket unravelled his sleeves with a look of accomplishment on his face. His only apparent achievement was in terrorising the Simualator enthusiasts. Holidays were on offer for closest to the pin: surviving the ordeal would seem to be reward enough judging from my observations.
By the time I get half way round the array of "unforgettable" complexes, I realise that there must have been an inordinate amount of world class courses that have sprung up around the globe recently without any experts noticing. Because they certainly haven't made an impact on the top course rankings. So according to whom are all these places spectacular?
Tiring of photographs of exotic locations with accompanying five-star hotels, I happen upon the Kagami stand with refreshing astonishment. No photos here. Just a kind of industrial wallpaper with a mirror hanging in the corner. So what's the story here? Did someone steal the fivestar photos? No. Kagami, explains an ex-professional tennis player is a Japanese philosophy adapted to sports. It concentrates on "feelings" and the creative side of the brain rather than the analytical and technical side. Forget about technique, it says, become a child again and play instinctively. It sounds similar to the Inner Game philosophy. The spectacle at the Austrian simulator was an indication that technique had well and truely been abandoned. I suggested to the ex-pro that it might be a bit premature to foresake technique in a country where golf is in its infancy.
On I go through Italy, how wonderful, playing golf in Tuscany on a Spring morning, like playing through an Impressionist's painting. Or in Cairo under the gaze of the pyramids of Giza. "Whack, whaah" the sound from a practice net at the end of the hall. Another German golf warrior is attacking his ball. The trouble with the set up is that the pupils are hitting towards the main hall. So the unsuspecting ramblers idly gazing at faraway fairways in the stands near the practice net are in for a surprise. Declining an opportunity to scare the life out of any more unsuspecting German golf browsers I retreated from the exhibition, backwards, to the safety of the world outside.
