"The game of football is played all over the world. In some countries, such a game may be called a soccer match. In others, a revolution.

However, there are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move the ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the football occasionally."

- Alfred Hitchcock. And he didn't even see the International Rules' games between Ireland and Australia.