Hey presto! Clinton delivers

Manager's quotes: Well, it might not have been the greatest week in the entire history of Irish soccer but at least we'll be…

Manager's quotes: Well, it might not have been the greatest week in the entire history of Irish soccer but at least we'll be able to tell the grandchildren that we saw him play. Clinton Morrison. The king of bling. Never scores a goal unless it's a beautiful goal.

Phew. We were lurching towards a starchy scoreless draw when Clinton, only freshly installed into the action as a substitute, chased down a long ball from Alan Maybury.

At the corner of the penalty area with a large Chinese man bearing down on him urgently Clinton essayed a delicate volleyed chip or chipped volley, we mortals can't be sure, and the ball hooked faithfully into the Chinese yet.

We should of course be accustomed to these moments. We're not though. If Clinton was surprised he didn't show it. He marked a second moment of genius in four days with the sort of cool half bow that a world renowned magician might give having sawn a glamourous assistant in half.

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Hey presto! Other than that it was dull to tedious a game only a manger could love. Before Clinton (that dark period known as BC) we had scarcely cause to take the tops off our biros other than to jot down crassly unPC puns with which to keep ourselves warm.

You know the sort of thing. Questioning the quality of the Chinese delivery, complaining that some of the tackling was won ton. When Andy Reid tested the Chinese goalie with a swerving free-kick we noted that the Chinese wall had been a good wall but not a great wall.

Really. That's how dull it was. We felt that we had carried some of the dullness of Tel Aviv in our limbs. We needed to be stretched.

Perhaps despite our recent travels we're not used to these match ups when we are Goliath and the opposition is David with naught but a sling-shot dangling from the backpocket.

Despite the disparity in population size (there are more Chinese people than you'd get into Lansdowne and Croker together apparently, had they but the mind to travel) the Irish were the ones who took the pitch as short-odds favourites or local giants.

Ireland poked and prodded dutifully especially in the first half when the lads looked intent on shaking out the stiffness from Sunday's long flight from Israel. Encouraged by an understanding crowd we were more adventurous certainly than we had been in Tel Aviv but just turning up would have guaranteed that.

Reid and Damien Duff poked and prodded down the wings and just for fun swapped wings every now and then. We popped shots from hither and tither but after a while the fizz went out of the occasion.

Our front pair of Stephen Elliot and Robbie Keane buzzed and hummed but never quite got the clearcut opportunity that so much buzzing and humming should have earned them.

In midfield our gang of four (sorry, sorry, have to use these references up. Wait till you get to the one about our wok ethic.) toiled honestly. All good stuff.

Brian Kerr, our own inscrutable mandarin, came among us afterwards to discuss the state of his dynasty. The Chinese journalists present opened proceedings with a polite question which reflected the sort of chauvinism which we thought was our own preserve.

"Do you think you were lucky? If China had converted chances? Maybe?" We watched Brian closely wondering what diplomatic formulation his nimble mind would concoct to get out of this one.

"No," he said after a while. "We had too much of the play and too many chances and crosses. I thought they did okay. They defended well, not good enough for us to feel lucky. They worked very hard. Quite hard. Goalie did well. Centre back stuck with it. Good in the air. Athletic. Tested us on the break once or twice."

There ye are then. The sensibilities of a great nation trampled upon! We moved onto the important business of the night, something which Chinese and Irish alike could celebrate. Clinton's goal.

"Yeah, a very good finish." said Brian." Good ball from Alan. We didn't play too many direct balls in behind them. It was hard to get in there. That was as good a finish as I've seen for a long time. From where we were it took a while to come down and go in." Almost half jokingly (surely) there was a question about the state of Clinton's confidence. To say Clinton lacks confidence would be akin to saying that China lacks people.

"I'd like him to be playing more often. I don't think he is as sharp as he was back when he was playing regularly before the transfer deadline. Since then he hasn't played so much. I don't think that helps.

"The reserve matches aren't of a high enough level. I'm not in control of that. I wouldn't tell Steve Bruce who he should play. Clinton is making a good case for himself."

We're winding up. Benefits of having played at all? What were they? "One of the pluses was we made six changes in the starting line-up. Three players onto pitch who hadn't played on Saturday. Important for Paddy Kenny. Played well without being under severe pressure. Neat and tidy in his work and distribution. Every player should feel there's a role for him.

"Stephen Elliot, a young player in his first season of football in Division One, first season as a first team, player, been scoring a few goals. I wanted to give him a go in his main role as a front player.

"He worked very hard. It was awkward to tread it through, hard to get a hold of it in front positions. There was a lot of misplaced passes because of how poor the pitch was."

Brian Kerr goes off grinning wondering what this evening's news from Tel Aviv will bring. Now where's that fortune cookie joke?