A profitable week too for expensive car-repairers in the Manchester and Birmingham areas. Aston Villa chairman Doug Ellis reversed his Rolls Royce into manager John Gregory's Land Rover and Dwight Yorke had the tyres on his new £94,000 Aston Martin slashed, and the paintwork damaged, by an unidentified Villa fan, a bit narked by his move to Manchester United.

Aberdeen match-day DJ Tam O'Shanters became a much loved figure at Pittodrie, thanks to the choice of his music to accompany Celtic's warm-up on the pitch last week - Cliff Richard's We Don't Talk Any More, Abba's Money, Money, Money, The Beatles' Can't Buy Me Love and Deacon Blue's Fergus Sings The Blues, all in reference to the players' dispute with chairman Fergus McCann over bonuses.

Poor old Stephane Porato, Montpellier's young goalkeeper, who made his debut for the club on Saturday in front of 60,000 fans at Marseille's Velodrome. His side was leading 4-0 at half-time, but then conceded four in a 19-minute spell in the second half . . . and a fifth in injury time, when Laurent Blanc scored the winner from a penalty. "Je suis malade comme un perroquet," Stephane was heard to mutter after the game.

Slightly mortifying week for Tommy Docherty, ex-every club you care to mention. His verdict on Dwight Yorke, after seeing him make his debut against Manchester United eight years ago, was reproduced by most publications, following Yorke's £12.6 million transfer to United. "If that lad makes a First Division footballer, my name is Mao Tse-Tung," said Tommy Mao.