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A collection of sports stories

A collection of sports stories

It'll be great to see Caucau come back F I N A L S T R A W:MOST RUGBY fans, never mind the Fijian supporters, who would have a direct vested interest, will be hoping flying winger Rupeni Caucaunibuca will honour his commitment to come out of retirement and return to international rugby.

Caucau, as he is affectionately known, began the process in Suva last week when he turned up to a Fijian training camp ahead of their upcoming Test match with Australia.

The reason behind his change of heart is he wants to play for Fiji in next year’s World Cup in New Zealand.

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The Fijian wing’s career has been beset by a string of disciplinary issues that included a three-month ban in 2007 after testing positive for cannabis.

Agen, for whom he scored 13 tries this season, said Caucaunibuca had a habit of going AWOL.

However, the player claims he had mended his attitude and credits “the Almighty for reopening the door”.

“Many things had been said about me, most of them negative but I would like to right the wrong. I want to prove my critics wrong.”

He will be only 30 on the day of the Test match against the Wallabies and has intimated he wouldn’t mind taking the outhalf role.

He will be remembered though as the outstanding wing in world rugby during his early career and even when carrying a little excess baggage, showed Leinster fans in a Heineken Cup match at Lansdowne Road that while form may be temporary, class endures.

Legging ferrett? School agin it, Bartlett fer it

OKAY, IT is not strictly a sport, more of a pastime, but any story that brings together, “ferret legging”, the National Ferret School, a world record and the sentiment that a contest “will set back ferret welfare by over 20 years”, deserves a wider audience.

A charity ferret-legging contest organised by Frank Bartlett (67) brought him into conflict with an animal welfare group.

The National Ferret School, possibly an academy for bright ferrets, maintained the event – it demands that a ferret be placed down the baggy trousers of a man, in this case Bartlett – which was held in Whittington, Staffordshire, would subject the animals to needless stress and discomfort.

Bartlett countered that ferrets were docile creatures, would probably go to sleep, and that it would cause them no harm, mental or physical.

The premise for the venture was to try to raise £1,000 for the local community first responder group by trying to break the world record, which stood at five hours and 24 minutes.

Speaking in defence of the project before it took place, Bartlett said: “The event is being undertaken by people who have been involved in ferret care and welfare for many years. We would never dream of doing anything that resulted in distress to any animal,” before describing the ferret he was going to use as extremely docile and arguing there was “ample room” in the baggy trousers he intended to wear.

He added: “The idea of forcing it to do anything is absolutely ludicrous. They are like any animal – if they are handled properly from a youngster, they become tame and friendly.”

You’d hope so, wouldn’t you, of an animal with razor-sharp teeth.

However, James McKay, the director of the National Ferret School, insisted it was extremely stressful to ferrets and questioned whether legging might breach the 2006 Animal Welfare act.

“We fear if this “contest” is allowed to go ahead, it will set back ferret welfare by over 20 years.”

The period to which he refers was obviously a bad time for ferrets. The upshot was the contest did go ahead, the £1,000 was raised and Bartlett broke the world record by keeping a ferret down his baggy trousers for five hours and 30 minutes, breaking the existing mark by four minutes.

Ferret-legging is an equal opportunities pastime as evidenced by the fact fellow villager Christine Farnsworth joined Bartlett in his efforts and achieved an identical time.

Bishop's cup prayers no divine comedy

THE BISHOP of Croydon in south London, the Reverend Nick Baines, has written a series of prayers catering for those seeking a little divine intervention during the upcoming soccer World Cup in South Africa.

A Liverpool fan, the Church of England cleric wrote the blessings on his blog: Nick Baines’ Blog – Musings of a restless bishop, and it has garnered significant media interest.

He confesses to be slightly bemused by the reaction but obviously hasn’t lost his sense of humour as he highlighted the most insightful question he’s been asked so far. “Did you write the prayers for a special occasion?”

“Duh.”

The first two prayers call for a blessing on those who work at and play in the tournament and also that God might smile on the host country South Africa.

Baines even caters for those who couldn’t care less about the tournament with his third supplication, entitled A prayer for those simply not interested.

“Lord, as all around are gripped with World Cup fever, bless us with understanding, strengthen us with patience and grant us the gift of sympathy if needed.

Amen.

“More than half the population pray at some time and everyone will be affected by the World Cup in one way or another, so it makes sense to have some prayers for those that want to use them,” the bishop observed.

More power to Waddell and Taylor the great

WHATEVER THOUGHTS people may have on where darts comes in the sporting firmament it’s difficult not to admire Phil Taylor’s historic two nine-dart finishes to beat James Wade 10-8 and win the Whyte and Mackay Premier League Darts title during the week.

The nine-dart finish equates to the hat-trick in rugby or soccer, the 147 in snooker, the 300 game in tenpin bowling or the hole-in-one in golf.

Taylor has played thousands of competitive legs during a darts career that spans over three decades, but his achievement during the week made him the first player in the history of the sport to achieve the feat in a match. It was only his ninth nine-dart finish in competitive fare.

“The Power”, as the Stoke-born arrowsmith is known, is the sport’s greatest ever exponent, a winner of 15 world championship titles alone.

Contextualising the achievement, Taylor observed: “I’m a very proud man. I’ve won every title in the PDC and I don’t think I can ever do better than this – it’s the proudest day of my life.

“Everything I’ve done for the last 30 years has all come together. It’s been my dream to do this.

“It’s absolutely incredible and possibly the greatest moment of my career.”

What made the piece of darting history a little bit more special was the presence of Sid Waddell in the commentary box.

The Geordie broadcaster and former Cambridge scholar (he has a 2:1 honours degree in history) is rightly regarded as the voice of darts, largely for his colourful, if slightly hysterical commentary style that has seen him described as being “like a banshee with piles”.

His witticisms and puns are legion and he didn’t disappoint the other night, at one point observing: “Bonnie Taylor, a total eclipse of the darts.”

He originally entertained on BBC television at a time when the sport was hugely popular, choc-full of characters like Eric Bristow, Jocky Wilson, John Lowe, Bobby George, Leighton Rees and Cliff Lazarenko: Waddell’s muddled similes as a backdrop were nearly as entertaining (see the list below) as the darts.

He moved the Sky and was inveigled into presiding over their pool coverage, where he proved to be equally verbally dexterous and among the gems are “as the Borgias knew full well, fine cuts can hurt”, and “if I could shoot pool like that I wouldn’t be sitting here mauling the English language”.

He’s written 11 books, the most recent an excellent and ruthlessly honest autobiography and two children’s television series Jossy’s Giants and Sloggers.

Taylor’s achievement the other night just wouldn’t have been quite the same without his voice-over.

Pro who won that buggy case now top coach

ON THIS day, six years ago, Casey Martin won a landmark ruling against the PGA Tour in the US Supreme Court that permitted him to use a golf buggy during tournaments because he had Klippel-Trenaunay-Weber Syndrome.

This degenerative disorder causes the veins in his leg to rupture and fill the cavities around his tibia with blood. Amputation can result.

The Oregon professional began the process in 1997 of fighting under the American with Disabilities Act to use a cart when playing in US Tour events.

While it went through the courts he was permitted to do so, before eventually winning his case in 2004.

A team-mate of Tiger Woods while at Stanford University, Martin played only one season (2000) on the PGA Tour, spending most of his time on what was then the Nike tour (now the Nationwide tour).

He didn’t elicit as much sympathy as one might expect from his fellow pros, many of whom weren’t supportive of his cause.

Jack Nicklaus was quoted at the time as saying: “I think we ought to take them (the judges) all out and play golf. I think they’d change their minds. I promise you, it’s fundamental (walking).”

Woods was a little more sympathetic in stating: “I’m extremely happy for Casey. To see Casey now go out there and play with peace and quiet and not having this over his head will be beneficial for him.”

The world number one did add the rider though, “You would think we’d be able to govern our own sport. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.”

Martin once finished 23rd in the US Open (1998) but after a number of years of struggling in professional golf he accepted the position of head coach with the University of Oregon in May 2006.

It proved to be a very successful move for the university as in just his

fourth season he recently guided the Ducks to back-to-back NCAA Championship appearances for the first time in a decade.

This season the Ducks managed a school record four tournament victories, a stint as the number one collegiate golf team in the US national rankings and on a personal level he was this month voted Pac-10 coach of the year.

Martin celebrates his 38th birthday next week.

John O'Sullivan

John O'Sullivan

John O'Sullivan is an Irish Times sports writer