Compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Conlan wants iPhone back
In olden times people actually wrote down phone numbers in a little book and took photos with a gadget called a camera, but nowadays if you lose your phone you lose just about every contact you ever had and photo you ever snapped. So, it's not good. In time you can gather up the numbers again, but you'll never get back those precious images, which is why Michael Conlan is rather eager to find the iPhone he mislaid outside Copper Face Jacks on Wednesday night.
Bronze medallist Conlan had on his phone several treasured photos from London 2012. He’s understandably desperate to have it returned. So, if you’re offered a cheap iPhone and it contains images of a Belfast boxer with a bronze medal, grab it and return it to the owner.
Lucas prefers Paris and PSG's project
Since Qatar Investment Authority became the majority shareholder of Paris Saint Germain last year the club has gone on a spectacular spending spree, their outlay between June 2011 and last month just over €210 million – and over €100 million of that was spent on Ezequiel Lavezzi (from Napoli), Thiago Silva (AC Milan), Zlatan Ibrahimovic (AC Milan) and Marco Verratti (Pescara) last month alone.
But they weren’t done, adding Brazilian teenager Lucas Moura to their list of purchases, the deal forecast to end up costing the club €100 million – his fee was €43 million, he will earn €250,000 a week over four years, and roughly €9 million was, reportedly, spent on agent fees in the transfer from Sao Paulo.
And to add to the eye-popping figures: Ibrahimovics salary is €15m . . . after tax.
This, then, has left the rest of French football resigned to the likelihood that PSG will lord it over their rivals in the years ahead. “We are going to have get used to the idea that coming second in Ligue 1 is like winning a title – just like the guy who comes second to Usain Bolt in the Olympic 100 metres,” said former Marseille coach Rolland Courbis.
Mind you, they needed a last minute penalty to draw against Lorient in their opening game of the season last weekend, but coach Carlo Ancelotti will trust that things will improve once his new boys bed in. Qatar Investment Authority will hope so too, otherwise Ancelotti will be packing his bags soon enough. The club, which hasn’t won its league since 1994, was beaten to the title by Montpellier last season.
While, status-wise, they’re still not in a position to attract the very biggest names in the game, their successful bid for Lucas was an eye-opener for some of Europe’s more established big guns, not least Manchester United.
“When somebody’s paying €45 million for a 19-year-old boy you have to say the game’s gone mad,” said Alex Ferguson, whose club, eh, paid in or around €30 million for 18-year-old Wayne Rooney in the dim and distant past – 2004, to be precise.
According to his agent, Wagner Ribeiro, Lucas had agreed to sign for United before PSG’s sporting director Leonardo, the Brazilian international who once played for Sao Paulo, had a word with the teenager.
“Everything was agreed between Sao Paulo and Manchester United,” said Ribeiro.
“The contract had been written and just needed to be signed, but then Leonardo called me and asked to talk to Lucas. He was very gentle with Lucas. The possibility of living in Paris – a much more pleasant city than Manchester – also influenced his decision, but it was PSG’s project that impressed Lucas.”
You’d have to guess the offer of €250,000 a week impressed a bit too.
If Ferguson was left stunned by PSG’s financial clout, so, it seems, was the Mail on Sunday’s football reporter Bob Cass. After declaring on August 4th that Moura would sign for United, he was asked on Twitter for reassurance: “How close is Lucas to joining United, percentage?”
“110 per cent! Ignoring all the pillocks. Fee agreed. Boss wants him and when he wants someone he usually gets him. Nufsaid!,” he replied.
And then: “All those who said I was talking shite about Lucas please unfollow. Don’t want your apologies . . . or your tears.”
August 8th: Lucas signed for PSG.
Cass: “Let’s put Lucas to bed. United thought they had the deal done but PSG offered fortunes. Ok –- so I got it wrong . . . as it turned out.”
Three lessons:
(1) Never underestimate PSG’s money muscle.
(2) Think twice before tweeting.
(3) Pine for the days when there was no internet and your faulty forecasts turned in to fish ’n’ chips paper.
Tebow's pose crucified by radio host Carton
The New York Jets’ Tim Tebow has never been shy about displaying his Christian faith, the quarterback famous for kneeling in prayer on the field of play and, in his college days, sporting references to biblical verses on the black strips under his eyes during games.
Predictably enough, Tebow has attracted as much derision as he has praise for his openness about his religion, but a photo of him in the latest edition of GQ magazine has probably received more flack than approval.
It’s actually an old photo, re-jigged by GQ, from his days at the University of Florida, one that shows him, well, topless, with his arms outstretched, the heading on the accompanying feature, “Have You Accepted Tim Tebow as Your QB and Sunday Savior?”.
“Who does he think he is? Jesus,” has been the gist of the response, although plenty have come to his defence, pointing out that more than a few did mad things in their college days.
Craig Carton, a sports radio host in New York, was unforgiving, though – as the Huffington Post put it, he “crucified Tebow” over his ‘Jesus’ pose.
“Tim Tebow is posing as Jesus, but not any kind of Jesus – he is posing as ‘Sexy Jesus’.
“When you see a guy, who clearly thinks he is Jesus – he is posing as Jesus, legs crossed, arms out, like he’s on the freaking cross, and he’s got tight junk pants on showing off his big junk with no shirt on – and he’s posing as Sexy Jesus, he is a fraud,” said Carton, somewhat suggesting he wasn’t best pleased about the image.
He went on to describe the player as “fraudulent”, “disgusting” and “egotistical”.
The moral of the story? Delete/burn your school/college photos now.
Bloggers not impressed with Nike's snazzy t-shirt
With female athletes winning two thirds of the United States’ medals in London 2012 it was natural enough that Nike, an official ‘outfitter’ for the Games, would celebrate the feat, and so they’ve brought out a snazzy t-shirt (left) in honour of the medallists. It’s a “style that starts a conversation”, their own website says of the creation, and that it has most certainly done.
“Gold Digging” it reads, the t-shirt only available in women’s shapes and slim-fit sizes. And with that the internet thingie erupted, more than a few providing Nike with the definition for ‘Gold digger’: “A person who dates others purely to extract money from them, in particular a woman who strives to marry a wealthy man.”
Yahoo’s fashion blog, Shine, was unimpressed too, quoting a bunch of tweets that let rip at Nike – eg “US ladies win two-thirds of the country’s gold medals at the Olympics, and Nike rewards them with this sexist tee”; “What do you know – Olympic sponsors (corporate exporters) NIKE design Sexist ‘gold-digger’ women’s shirts. New low.” By now the marketing people at Nike were probably on their 18th bottle of brandy. “Nike has consistently supported female athletes and the position they enjoy as positive role models,” they said in a statement to Shine. “The t-shirt uses a phrase in an ironic way that is relevant given it was released just as the world focused on the success of female athletes.”
It has to be said, though, the t-shirt might look entirely fine on gold medallists like, say, Gabby Douglas, but on young wans heading for a night club? Hmmm.
Waddell hit the bull with these crackers
It’s probably accurate to say there’ll never be another Sid Waddell, the incomparable darts commentator who died last Saturday, the day after his 72nd birthday. He first worked on the sport for the BBC in 1977 before moving to Sky in 1994. Appropriately enough, from next year on the Professional Darts Corporation’s World Championship trophy will be named in his honour.
They are way too many to choose from, but here’s a taste of his finest moments:
“The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.”
“William Tell could take an apple off your head, Phil Taylor could take out a processed pea.”
“When Alexander of Macedonia was 33 he cried salt tears because there were no worlds left to conquer. Eric Bristow’s only 27.”
“He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.”
“I don’t know what he’s had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow”
“If we’d had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they’d have gone home.”
“Steve Beaton, he’s not Adonis, he’s THE donis”
And only Sid Waddell could throw an admiring glance at the late Jockey Wilson and declare, “what an athlete”.
One of a kind.
