Ireland Tour: John O'Sullivan sheds a crocodile tear for his Tongan lizard companion on the last leg of his trek.
"So did you enjoy your stay at the hotel?" the young woman inquired as we were shuttled to the airport. "Brilliant, superb, top place, can't wait to come back," we lied in unison, with the odd crocodile tear and even a few sniffs.
Having left Fawlty Towers in the rear-view mirror and with the Tongan leg of the Ireland rugby squad's summer tour now over, it was time to reflect on our eight days in Tonga's capital, Nuku'alofa.
One poignant moment was a last sighting of the small lizard that used to scuttle up the wall of my bedroom.
There was an empathy between us; we were a bit like a newly married couple in that we couldn't take our eyes off each other. But it was time to close the door on that chapter.
The good news was we had arrived before the Ireland rugby squad; arriving in their wake is akin to a slow death by queuing.
Facilities at the tiny airport are best described as spartan and to ensure that we beat the Irish squad to it we had arrived some four hours before our flight time. The last time we had seen the players was that morning when they underwent a final training session at the Teufaiva International stadium.
All bar Shane Byrne and Justin Fitzpatrick took part, both victims of seriously blistered feet. Ronan O'Gara did some light work but avoided contact because of his wrist injury. Nothing showed up as broken on the scans but it's still sore.
Arguably the biggest casualty of the long week, though, had been the Irish physiotherapist Ailbe McCormack.
Taking part, topless, in a fun game of tip rugby with some of the players the previous day, he stumbled, falling heavily and shredding the skin on his back, knees and thigh. In order to cleanse the wounds properly he was ordered to take a dip in the South Pacific ocean, the salt water washing out the wound. He kept a stiff upper lip but a trembling bottom one.
Byrne and Fitzpatrick will both come into consideration for selection when the team to play Samoa is announced later today. In journeying from Tonga to Samoa, the International Date Line is crossed and so even though the team took off on Tuesday night in Tonga, they arrived in Samoa on Monday night.
The only person remotely pleased about this fact is the Irish team's fitness adviser Mike McGurn, who gets to work the players over twice on a Tuesday.
The likely composition of the team for the Samoa game on Friday (Saturday morning, Irish time) is the one originally selected for the Tongan Test match. Girvan Dempsey was a late withdrawal after being selected, the victim of a tummy bug. He is likely to return in place of Mark McHugh, who scored a try on his debut the last day.
Eric Miller's nose isn't broken, as first feared, merely fractured and he is expected to be available despite the wounds to his nose and eyelid. He took part in yesterday's training, albeit after being warned against making full contact.
Byrne and Fitzpatrick sat out the session, Paul Shield and Marcus Horan deputising. The latter may return to the front row if coach Eddie O'Sullivan honours his commitment to play the strongest available team. The other concern is O'Gara, Paul Burke spending most of the session in the pivot position at outhalf.
It would mean that David Quinlan, Aidan McCullen, Anthony Horgan and Paddy Wallace might not be asked to tog out on the entire tour. The team touched down in Samoa at 11.0 p.m. local time on Monday night (11 a.m. Tuesday, Irish time). The team will be announced following training today.
Ensconced in their base at the world famous Aggie Grey's hotel on the harbour in Apia, the surroundings are positively palatial compared to those in Tonga, the players heartened by the fact that the end of a difficult and demanding schedule is in sight.