Another November, four years ago. From the seething ferment of Windsor Park, Belfast, one image is burned into the mind. One sweet strike of the ball. Swoosh! And Alan McLoughlin was on his way. Nearly.

In Brussels this week he thinks he has passed the million mark. A million times he has been asked to describe it. The night, the goal, the emotion, the feeling of having lived out a boy's dream, scorching home the drive that takes your team to the World Cup finals.

The memories are well thumbed, but with the week that's in it, he gets them out again. He remembers himself and Alan Kelly coupled together on the subs' bench. Worried about lead more than splinters if the truth be told.

"The atmosphere was so hostile you didn't like sitting on the bench for too long, sitting in one place. You got aware of what was going on around you. We'd go behind the goals and I remember you could here the Alsatians going, but it kept us moving and kept us sharp."

It was a difficult night for maintaining your focus. On the way to the ground, the team had to dim the lights on the bus, there were plain-clothes security people all over the bus, people outside the windows shouting about a war which footballers never give a thought to.

"As sportsmen you don't really realise that people are living in different situations to yourself. The tension of it might have helped us along the way a little bit. It made us apprehensive. We were keyed up that night."

In the aftermath, after the dizziness when qualification was confirmed and the team rushed headlong in triumph for the airport, McLoughlin could speak about little else but his wife and daughter. Four years on, that is still his perspective on the night.

"I was so pleased for her that I got home with something to shout about for once, instead of saying never mind, next time maybe. People in Ireland remember the night differently than I do. There was the Irish thing and the World Cup, but it was something for my family, too.

"I was going off for a long time to these games and never getting on the pitch and they were seeing that and it was hard for them. If you add it all up it's a lot of time away from home just because you want to be part of it all. I remember the feeling at the time. It was for me and Debbie. Something to keep us going."

That moment is one of several which illuminates Alan McLoughlin's turbulent career. It should have set up the second half of his career as a great and glittering thing. Should have, but didn't . . .

"I didn't think that with the goal I had earned my place in the team. The team picked itself month in and month out. There were very few significant injuries. Playing where I was playing I know Jack didn't think I was up to the job. I just read today in one of his books that he didn't think I had the legs for getting around the park, which is rubbish. Jack had seen a few of my games, but not that many. He rarely saw me at Portsmouth.

"One thing he always said to me, though, was that he felt I could score goals and get in the box and cause trouble. I felt I should have been used more often. I didn't expect to play all the time, but I expected to play more in those situations where I could have had an effect.

"The Holland game at Anfield, at the end of the last qualification series, was the sort of situation where I felt I could have come on and done something. He put Alan Kernaghan on instead. I made the decision then that if that was going to be it, I was finished."

World Cups are days of roses. League football is bread and butter. Alan McLoughlin never quite got his fair share there either. Southampton bought him from Swindon and played him for 28 games. If they played him for 30 they became liable for another payment to Swindon. So they left it at 28. "Yeah," he says, shaking his head quietly, "Southampton screwed me. Played 28 games and they hadn't the money. It took so long for them to tell me. My confidence went. If they'd just been straight up and said we haven't the money. I looked and he (Ian Branfoot, the manager) was buying aggressive players like Terry Hurlock and I was just left wondering."

Not the first time he'd been dealt a skewed hand. He scored the goal at Wembley which brought Swindon into the Premiership. Except the FA found out about some funny money and dumped Swindon down two divisions instead.

Lots of big rollercoaster days. Once he saved Torquay from Non-League status. Out on loan from Swindon, he was in the Torquay team which played Crewe on the last day of season, McLoughlin scored in the 93rd minute. Kept Torquay alive. Lincoln City dropped out of the world.

Always some stress and turbulence. Missed promotion to the Premiership with Portsmouth by one goal in the course of a season. Escaped relegation with Portsmouth by a goal. Scored in a cup semi-final against Liverpool. Scored a hat-trick in the FA Cup against Blackburn. Came on in Cagliari against England for his second cap.

More lows than highs, and if he complains sometimes, who can blame him. He's always had what it takes, just never had the opportunity.

"I feel I could have been playing Premiership all along. I feel if I was given the chance with top players I could perform better, the ball given in better situations, different things. Yeah. I'm 30 now, 31 in April, now I have to start looking after my family. I think maybe the Premiership has passed me by, but when I play against Premiership teams I play well. Played against Leeds, (Man) United, scored a hat-trick against Blackburn. It makes me think. Maybe 17 of the last 20 internationals I have played in have been Premiership standard and I don't think I have suffered.

"I'd love one season in the Premiership, but this next move is my last one in football. I have to do it for the money to make us secure. Next move has to be right for my wife and kids. I don't want to struggle after football. I've been taking a long hard look at things.

"I want a bit of a challenge. I want to feel nervous again on Saturday mornings. I can't honestly say I have been nervous for the past two or three seasons at Portsmouth. I come away with Ireland and I am nervous. People expect things. I love the big pressure games. That's what this week is about."

He deserves a gallop tonight. Mick McCarthy's reign has given McLoughlin an Indian summer of international involvement. Rightly so. He's always turned up, especially on those unfancied trips when superstars often get groin strains and calf injuries and little niggles.

"I even came once when I shouldn't have and in the end demanded that I was taken on the trip. They'd got their communications wrong. I demanded to be taken. I knew the space would just be taken up by an official. I always wanted to come and be part of it, even if you didn't play. Maybe I moan, but overall he (Charlton) was great for me and occasionally when I was down he would tell me that he still thought I was good enough to be in the squad and that would keep me coming."

And tonight if Alan McLoughlin comes of the bench and limbers up there will be a throaty roar in Brussels, a release of nostalgia and sentiment for the man who gave us America, the man with something left to prove still.

"People tell me that I'm the nearly man," he says "and I feel it too. Played 28 games in the top division, played well, too, but that was it. The guy everyone said was good enough to do it but never did it. This is my escape. There's been lows but one more high. That's what I'm here for."

One more high.