IF YOU ASK ME:In a World Cup that didn't thrill the senses at least the final will be full of emotion for a country straining at the leash for the trophy, writes RISTEARD COOPER

WE HAVE a reputation in Ireland for being more critical of ourselves than any other country. Well, at this particular juncture I would wager Wales might be a shade more critical of us than we are of ourselves. They might have knocked us out of the World Cup, but somehow they’ll probably feel we’ve had the last word in this particular tournament.

In the pool stages George Clancy and co adjudged that James Hook’s three points against the Springboks were in fact no points.

For those of us who played against Alain Rolland you could say he was never a fan of big tackles, ouch! However I hope he never becomes a Garda or else we’ll all be in trouble.

And if the IRB referees manager Paddy O’Brien (surely of Irish descent) moves into politics we might all be in serious jeopardy; he may well decide to ban all unnecessary human contact, unless you’re on your feet. What about making spear-tackles legal on certain players? For instance if it happens to Chris Ashton or Delon Armitage it’s play on? Maybe not.

But, if the point of such high-profile red cards are to make the game safer, you’d have to seriously question that logic. Is a professional rugby player in the heat of battle really supposed to back out of tackles if he feels he might not be able to support the weight of his opponent? Isn’t that a bit like Catholic idea of contraception, where you’re expected to withdraw at the vital moment, while all your visceral human instincts are pleading with you to follow through?

Like the clergy, it’s only the ones who are not actively involved who could come up with that as a solution. In fact you could say the IRB and the clergy are a match made in heaven. Anyway Rolland won’t be looking for too many refereeing assignments in the Valleys anytime soon and if he does end up there this side of 2015, he’d better bring a fast car.

Perhaps the final on Sunday is not providing us with the best two teams in the tournament (does it ever?), but it is giving us one of them and a great clash of coaching styles. The measured monotonous tones of Graham Henry versus the explosive, cracked, outbursts of Marc Lievremont is as juicy as it gets. The Kiwi desperately trying to keep a lid on a hugely emotional country straining at the leash this week tried to convince us that “this is just another game of rugby”. Yeah, right.

It’s in stark contrast to the melodrama from your man with the dodgy tash who is all in a twist about the moral bankruptcy of his “disgusting spoilt brats”, which are his players, just in case you were wondering.

If rumours are to be believed his players are simply ignoring him, so you’d wonder how his team talks are going.

Lievremont: “YOU ARE ALL A DISGRACE AND IT IS DISGUSTING THAT YOU ARE IN THE FINAL.”

Of course the one thing that terrifies the Kiwis is that no one knows – not even Les Bleus themselves – which team will turn up on match day. Will it be the swashbuckling, uninhibited one-for-all and all-for-one France or the beaten-before-we-start because we have a mad coach France?

The latter I say, and even though the All Blacks have a very inexperienced outhalf who looks about as old as the number on his back, his opposition is a scrumhalf playing out of position. It might be bold, but my money is on New Zealand to win by a record score for a World Cup final, but don’t quote me on that.

Overall this World Cup may not have overflowed with quality, but it certainly provided plenty of colourful moments. Cian Healy dumping Quade Cooper (red card anyone?) on the way to THAT win is a personal favourite.

Off the pitch some things never change though. On Setanta, Ciarán Fitzgerald’s French pronunciation is still a masterclass in dogged determination, insisting as he does that the French fullback is in fact Damien Troll, while Matt Williams continues in his quest to give everyone a nickname eg GORDY D’Arcy, ROBBY Kearney and SEÁNY O’Brien. Is this to let us all know that he is familiar with the boys or is it simply an Australian thing not to be able to resist the temptation of crow-barring a Y into everything. Although he’s Irish now isn’t he?

Steve Ryder and his ITV panel managed put us to sleep, which was quite an achievement considering we had just woken up, and of course the RTÉ panel talked over each other and took a commercial break.

Not much else has taken my attention off the event Down Under recently, but when you hear a man announcing on radio in the middle of the day that he wants to go “one on one” with another man “on live TV” it grabs your attention alright. Was this a saucy ad inadvertently aired by RTÉ at the wrong time and in the wrong country (you’d never know with them)? Alas no, just Michael D laying down the gauntlet to the Dragon from the Den. Ah I can’t wait to miss that. Roll on the Heineken Cup!

Risteárd Cooper’s latest offbeat look at all things World Cup can be viewed this morning at www.irishtimes.com/rwc