SOCCER/Euro 2008 Qualifying, Group D/Republic of Ireland - 5 San Marino - 0: The speed at which they dismantled the goalposts after the final whistle sounded at Lansdowne Road last night suggested the organisers feared a charge from eager souvenir hunters at the end of what was billed as an historic night for Irish football.
Having witnessed an all too pedestrian victory again over opponents who do a great deal to undermine our understanding of the term "international class", the 34,018 supporters who turned out to witness the Republic of Ireland's last game here settled for a brief acknowledgement of the home team's efforts and a rather swift departure.
Robbie Keane marked the occasion with a hat-trick, the fourth scored by an Irishman at the venue, but there was no need to reach for the record books. Despite a steady succession of scoring chances the home side couldn't equal the six goals put past Cyprus here in 1980 and never seriously threatened to match their record win of 8-0 achieved against Malta in 1983.
It was a good night for Steve Staunton, not least because of Germany's failure to beat Cyprus in Nicosia. Keane's goals, though, after Andy Reid opened the scoring after seven minutes and Kevin Doyle had found the net for the first time in a senior international, would surely have represented a satisfactory enough night for a man who must have feared the consequences of another below-par performance.
Few teams set out their stall with quite so much honesty as the Sammarinese. From the opening minutes they looked to get large numbers of bodies behind the ball while only their skipper, Andy Selva, sought to find space for himself between the Irish defence and midfield.
The approach provided early confirmation Giampaolo Mazza and his men had arrived with no loftier ambition than damage limitation. It doesn't take much longer to figure out why as his team of students, teachers and office workers looked exactly what it was.
Through the early stages they didn't fare too badly. Helped by some poorly executed passes by Shay Given and Kevin Kilbane the visitors found themselves in promising positions deep inside the Irish half on a couple of occasions and there were even a quick couple of corners to alert Given and his back four that this might not actually be one-way traffic.
In the end, though, that's almost exclusively what it was. Late in the first half Given was forced to scramble towards his bottom left corner as a precaution when Selva fired a low free just wide. The striker, who plays his club football in Italy's Serie C1, twice forced the Donegal man into what might be described as action in the second half with rushed shots from distance.
A good deal of the 90 minutes passed with Ireland building patiently if all too often scrappily from the halfway line. They were facilitated by the willingness of their opponents to fall back deeper and deeper, often until the team's three centre backs and whoever else happened to be on hand were crammed around men in green shirts inside the six-yard box. On the Irish side there were a good many basic errors and misplaced passes but it quickly became apparent these were not the sort of opponents who would punish the home side's flaws.
Carlo Valentini did enjoy a couple of good moments when playing the ball out of defence while Davide Simoncini and Simone Bacciocchi did their best to block down shots or crosses but for the most part the Irish had it all very much their own way.
Kilbane and Duff, supported by their full backs, had the run of the flanks while Lee Carsley and Andy Reid were rarely short of time or space in the centre. Only when the Irish tried to play their way into the box did they run into serious resistance with the Sammarniese blocking the path to goal by weight of numbers.
Three of Ireland's goals came from clean crosses while one was the product of a deflected free and the fifth was fired home from the penalty spot.
Reid's free was helped past Federico Valentini by Simoncini although the Charlton midfielder is likely to claim the bulk of the credit. Kilbane then made two for team-mates with Doyle heading the first in off the underside of the bar and Keane firing the game's third after being allowed a comical amount of time to tee up his shot from 12 yards out.
Doyle's effort rather summed up the deep limitation's of the visiting side's approach with Duff starting the move that led to the goal out on the right from where the hosts moved the ball unchallenged cross field and forward until Kilbane lofted a cross in to the heart of the six-yard box.
For a while it seemed as though the floodgates might open which, given the day that was in it, would have been appropriate, but the minnows just about kept sufficient composure to retain some pride while the Irish passed up a string of very good chances.
Everybody looked anxious to get their name on the score sheet although some of the attempts suggested the business of extending Ireland's lead should have been left to those who do so for a living. In the end it was a defender who paved the way to goal number four with Paul McShane body-checked by Bacchiocchi allowing Keane to sidefoot home from the penalty spot.
The Spurs striker completed his hat-trick with a glancing header from Reid's cross and the Irish then passed the remaining few minutes in a rather desperate goalmouth scramble searching for a sixth. Moments before the final whistle they should have had it but Richard Dunne fired over a yard or two out.
It was, on balance, a rather laid-back acquiescence by a nation officially known, appropriately on this evidence, as the "Most Serene Republic of San Marino", and, if such things can still be said to exist after all the recent traumas, an all too routine victory by the plain 'auld Republic.
REPUBLIC OF IRELAND: Given (Bewcastle United); O'Shea (Manchester United), McShane (West Brom), Dunne (Manchester City), Finnan (Liverpool); Duff (Newcastle United), Reid (Charlton), Carsley (Everton), Kilbane (Wigan Athletic); Keane (Tottenham Hotspur), Doyle (Reading). Subs: Douglas (Leeds United) for Carsley (50 mins), McGeady (Celtic) for Doyle (63 mins), Lee (Ipswich Town) for Kilbane (80 mins).
SAN MARINO: F Valentini; C Valentini, Albani, Bacciocchi, Simoncini, Vannucci; Andreini, Manuel Marani, Mariotti; Bugli; Selva. Subs: Michele Marani for Mariotti (59 mins), Crescentini for Vannucci (72 mins), Bonini for Simoncini (82 mins).
Referee: L Isaksen (Faroe Islands).
7 mins: Goal. An Andy Reid free-kick from the edge of the box deflects off the head of Davide Simoncini past the stranded San Marino goalkeeper Federico Valentini. 1-0.
8 mins: After some loose passing, Ireland have taken complete control and when Robbie Keane fails to control a low diagonal ball into the box Kevin Doyle feints a defender but blazes well over.
13 mins: San Marino win a corner but Richard Dunne easily clears. Keane, winning his 70th cap, heads a Kevin Kilbane cross just wide moments later.
24 mins: Goal. Ireland were struggling to break down San Marino's five-man defence and a deep lying midfield (with just captain Andy Selva in attack) but a neat Kevin Kilbane cross allows Kevin Doyle head home his first international goal. 2-0.
31 mins: Goal. Kilbane, again, sends an out-swinging cross that seems to miss Damien Duff but in fact it falls perfectly for Keane, who chests down before sliding the ball into the net. 3-0.
43 mins: Selva hits the pole that holds up Shay Given's net with a low curling free-kick from just outside the box. It is the only sight of goal the visitors have all evening.
Half time: 3-0.
57 mins: Paul McShane, clearly impatient with the error-ridden opening 10 minutes of the second half, bursts into the San Marino penalty area only to be bodychecked by Simone Bacciocchi. Keane plants his 28th Irish goal low to Valentini's right.4-0.
63 mins: With the scoreline at a satisfactory return, Steve Staunton unleashes his reserves with Aiden McGeady following Jonathan Douglas into the action.
71 mins: McShane has been attacking with more regularity and is denied his first Irish goal when he puts a free header over the bar.
76 mins: For no apparent reason the North Terrace burst into song and it reverberates around the stadium. One last goodbye to the old ground perhaps. A Mexican wave duly follows and then Olé, Olé. Staunton gives his former Aston Villa team-mate Alan Lee a 10th Irish cap.
85 mins: Goal. Keane claims the fourth ever hat-trick at Lansdowne Road (John Aldridge got two and David Connolly the other) with a delicate header into the corner from a well-weighted Andy Reid cross. 5-0.
89 mins: No prizes for guessing who wins man of the match as Keane is applauded by the 34,080 crowd.
92 mins: Still time for Richard Dunne to steal in at the back post and sky a free shot over from another Reid cross. Cue the last ever lap of honour.
