Italian coach Marcello Lippi is well accustomed to criticism in his native land, where the people take their football rather seriously. But now another class of critics has emerged on a new show on . . . Vatican Radio.

Lippi gets some holy orders

Uefa.com reported the show is giving members of the priesthood the chance to air their views on the state of Italian football. First up was Cardinal Fiorenzo Angelini who implied that selection for the national team was "prone to corruption".

"There are pressures and recommendations," he said, "being or not being in the national team can increase or decrease the commercial value of an athlete, which is sad."

Lippi was unimpressed. Indeed the expression "Jesus wept" probably crossed his mind. "I understand that Italy is a Catholic country, but now we've got cardinals talking out about football," he said. "I'm having a hard time understanding this."

Sweet of Inter's Chiapas chap

Who said this last week in a message to the people of Chiapas in southern Mexico? "We believe in a better world, in an unglobalised world, enriched by the cultural differences and customs of all the people. This is why we want to support you in this struggle to maintain your roots and fight for your ideals." Was it (a) Robbie Savage, (b) Harry Redknapp or (c) Javier Zanetti? If you chose (a) or (b) go to the back of the class now and put on that hat with the big D. Yep, it was Zanetti, the Inter Milan captain, speaking on behalf of the club when they donated money and an ambulance, as a gesture of solidarity, to the people of Chiapas after one of their villages was attacked by government forces.

Quotes of the week

Guest at a charity dinner: "You have a gun with one bullet. Who would you shoot: Victoria Beckham or Arsene Wenger?"

Alex Ferguson: "Could I have two bullets?"

"They are one of very few teams who will play a 4-4-3 system and have done for the last couple of seasons."

- Spurs (assistant Irish) coach Chris Hughton putting Bolton's success this season down to the fact that they field 12 players.

"Celtic were like monsters and their only intention was to crush me into thousands of pieces. Whenever I got near the box they tried to break my legs."

- Shakhtar Donetsk's Ciprian Marica, eagerly anticipating the return Champions League trip to Glasgow.

"It is true that I would love to play at a big club again but I am still under contract at Manchester City and it is up to them to decide if they want me or if they want to let me go."

- Is Nicolas Anelka implying City are minnows?

"G8 is right for us now. It sounds a bit like great, or it does with my Geordie accent. Paul's not right for us because it's too closely linked with the past."

- Paul Gascoigne on his new name, G8. Nope, we don't understand any of this either.

Show me the money - Sosa

Does all that badge-kissing on football shirts drive you mad, especially when the one doing the kissing are the most likely to desert their clubs when the going gets tough? Well, as a contrast, here's a refreshing dollop of brutal honesty from Atletico Madrid midfielder Marcelo Sosa: "I dedicated myself to football to make money. I'm not interested in becoming a world champion. There are world champions who have no money. I play for the team who is prepared to pay me the most." Applause please.

Two guys Tugay's words of wisdom Do Blackburn Rovers have two players by the name of Tugay? Tugay to a Turkish newspaper last week: "Nobody wants to play football any more at Blackburn. Graeme Souness left and that's how it is now. Now, I'm looking for new alternatives." Tugay to a Blackburn newspaper last week: "I am a Rovers player and proud to be so and I want to be at Rovers next season as well - I cannot be clearer than that. I believe Blackburn are doing all the right things . . . my desire and love for Rovers has never been more."

More quotes of the week

"It's going to be hard for me to make the England team now. I want to play in the 2006 World Cup finals and I may have to seriously consider making myself available for the Republic of Ireland."

- Fulham's Zat Knight, wrapping the green flag 'round himself.

"Some players seem to have a social life and they fit football in around that. You can not afford to do that. He is a good lad but he needs David O'Leary to keep right on top of him."

- David "third person" O'Leary on his young rowdy, Carlton Cole.

"Al Fayed was being very aggressive to me in one meeting. I had to excuse myself from the room and I actually began to cry."

- Former Fulham manager Jean Tigana on his relationship with chairman Mohammed Al Fayed.

"Kevin Davies just got the flick with the corner of his head."

- Chris Kamara, as heard by dangerhere.com, on Bolton's square-headed forward.

Mixed messages sinking Tinker

We're sad to hear our favourite manager, Claudio Ranieri, is struggling at Valencia. According to tribalfootball.com he has "lost the dressing-room, with many senior players having no confidence in his training methods".

In the home drubbing by Inter Milan, in the Champions League they didn't understand his instructions - "they did not know whether they should go forward or fall back, defend or attack". Apart from that, though, everything else was clear.

The wacky world of Adrian Mutu

"Sudden mood swings, isolation within the group, unexpected injuries, fatigue, difficulty in concentrating, early morning escapes from traffic police, public statements which were untrue and made no sense - there were many situations which caused us to wonder."

- Jose Mourinho explaining that he half-suspected all was not quite right with Adrian Mutu.

"This is the problem with all these d***heads who earn lots of money and believe they can do anything."

- Mircea Sandu, president of the Romanian FA, on news of Mutu's troubles.

"He has tested positive for cocaine."

- PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor.

"I did not take cocaine. I took something to make me feel good - I'll tell you later what it was. The only reason I took what I took was I wanted to improve my sexual performance. It may be funny - but it is true."

- Mutu.

"Mutu was here before me, so it was not my mistake.

- Mourinho, paying tribute to Claudio Ranieri's Chelsea shopping.

"Mutu should drink a dozen bottles of wine a night instead of taking drugs. It's a tragedy. He didn't take life seriously until this moment."'

- Wolves' Ioan Ganea, Mutu's Romanian team-mate.