Vote of confidence for Roy: There was much debate in Scotland last week about how Roy Keane might adapt to life in the Scottish Premier League.
"Can Roy Keane do the business in the SPL," Tam Cowan asked himself in his Daily Record column. "What a stupid question. Let's be honest, Roy Kinnear could still do the business in the SPL. And he's been dead for about 15 years." That's one vote of confidence, then. For Keane, that is, not quite for the SPL.
Quotes of the week
"The likes of Thierry Henry don't like going to Lansdowne Road but he's gonna like going to Croke Park. Lansdowne Road was our stomping ground. It was a kip and the changing rooms were cold and you're on the toilet and there's a train going by your head, so Croke Park is going to be an awful lot more comfortable and welcoming to the opposition."
- Damien Duff, in an interview with the Examiner, pining for the return of Rule 42.
"That was brutal, an awful, awful game. I said to them last week that I'd like them to win ugly and they certainly won ugly today. That was the ugliest thing I've seen since the ugly sisters fell out of the ugly tree."
- Motherwell manager Terry Butcher reflecting on his team's 1-0 win at Falkirk.
"We've got a very strong starting 11 and we have got strength in depth, but I don't think we've got enough players to cater for a lot of injuries."
- David Platt, not quite grasping the definition of "strength in depth" while analysing England's World Cup prospects.
"I'm just going to keep my head down, play well for Everton and see what comes of it. If I go on one of my scoring runs it will be hard for Mr Eriksson to ignore me. Well, it might not be that hard . . ."
- Even James Beattie is struggling to talk up his England prospects.
"Since I arrived I've played eight times against Liverpool: we won four, drew three and lost one. The difference is enormous. When I hear them say they can win the title it makes me feel like laughing."
- Jose Mourinho sends season's greetings to Anfield.
Longest name of football club
The Guardian has been asking its readers to help them find the longest team name in world football and leading the honours so far is Dutch club NAC Breda - or, to give it its full title: Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda. Altogether now: "Give us an 'N'."
Still, we prefer the offering of another reader: Clwb Peldroed Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch of the Welsh Anglesey League. It translates as "The church of St Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St Tysilio's of the red cave". Most impressively the club has managed to fit its name on its badge (see photo).
More quotes of the week
"Ronaldinho is the kind of player who makes kids dream. Kids aren't going to walk around with Deschamps or Desailly on the back of their shirts, are they? If there were only players like Deschamps and Desailly around, there would be about 10 people who'd bother to take up professional football and they'd be their cousins and nephews."
- Eric Cantona, seemingly uninspired by Didier and Marcel.
"I saluted my people with what for me is a sign of belonging to a group that holds true values, values of civility against the standardisation that this society imposes upon us. I expect a robust defence from my club . . . otherwise I'm going to be really pissed off. If we are in the hands of the Jewish community it's the end."
- Paolo Di Canio explaining, as only Paolo Di Canio could, his fascist salute to Lazio supporters last week.
"I have to say I've broken my balls playing with the likes of him. I'm sick of these fascists."
- Enough's enough for Ousmane Dabo, Di Canio's Lazio team-mate.
"At the moment Hyypia and Carragher are easily, possibly, the best partnership in the Premiership. And I say that carefully."
- A Football 365 gem . . . naturally enough it came from the mouth of Graham Taylor.
Doing it his way
We've found another manager we've taken a shine to: say hello to Miron Bleiberg, the Israeli boss of struggling Queensland Roar and Australian football's answer to that Chelsea chap. "I have been compared to Mourinho," he said, "due to my originality, the chutzpah I bring with me and the fact that I am not boring or straightforward". What is straightforward, though, according to Bleiberg, is the Israeli army, and that's one of the reasons he says he models his management style on them. "I am like them," he said, "straightforward and confident. I am not afraid and have nothing to hide. What you see is what you get. I am the captain and the leader of the ship. There is no democracy - it is a dictatorship and I am the boss. Give them a finger and they'll take the whole hand."
A wacky lad and wacky might be the way to describe how he ended up Down Under. "I got married and came to Australia with my wife Shlomit via a Zim line ship of which my father was the captain. What started off as a honeymoon and backpacking trip ended up lasting 22 years - and is still going."
Even more quotes
"My girlfriend is a massive Barca fan so you can imagine how difficult it would be for me if I signed for Real Madrid. I love the way Barca play football . . . I love the city. I have been a few times and I have fallen in love with the place. When I was young I dreamt about playing abroad, not just for the football but also to experience a new culture . . . "
- Frank Lampard, who is learning Spanish and is looking for a house in Barcelona, commits himself to, eh, Chelsea.
"Like everyone I have days when I would just prefer to stay in bed but you have to push yourself even if it is just to take the dog for a walk."
- Wayne Rooney, worn out by life in professional football.
"The tournament is very important for my country - and if I didn't play I think fans would want to kill me."
- Newcastle's Amdy Faye explains why he's so keen to play in the African Nations Cup.
"He is like a sponge. I know that name Sponge Bob from when my children watch television."
- Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez learns a new word for Jamie "Squarepants" Carragher.
"Pele is like that, he's always got an opinion about everything. It seems like he's having a period and he's feeling all flustered."
- Maradona assuming it was that time of the month when Pele suggested Corinthians' Carlitos Tevez wasn't the best player in South America.
