Mary Hannigan takes a look at the year of football

The Tributes

"Italy have several Gattusos but only one Pirlo. If Gattuso is a great player, then I'm a priest."

- Spanish coach Luis Aragones on his respect for Italian midfielder Gennaro Gattuso.

"Who is Souleymane Diawara? If he went to play in Saudi Arabia people would ask 'what kind of ketchup is that?'."

- El Hadji Diouf on the high esteem in which he holds his Senegal team-mate.

"I wouldn't trust some of these people to walk my dog."

- Roy Keane on his admiration for Sky Sports' pundits.

Losing count

"I have a feeling everyone is putting two and two together and making four."

- Chris Coleman's agent Alan Smith on his client's chances of becoming assistant to Kevin Keegan at Newcastle.

"I went up the training ground and saw Mark running and I said 'you're fit'. But he said he was only up to 70-75 per cent . . . it's this last 15 per cent that he wants out of himself."

- Gillingham manager Mark Stimson in need of a calculator as he assessed Mark McCammon's fitness.

"The one thing Cristiano Ronaldo has is pace, quick feet and a great eye for goal."

- One word: Chris Waddle.

Madrid v Manchester

"What made it really obscene was that Madrid, as General Franco's club, had a history of being able to get whoever and whatever they wanted before democracy came to Spain."

- Alex Ferguson putting Real Madrid's pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo in to, eh, some historical context.

"I'm not going to waste any time answering him. I admire his history but recently he has gone a bit senile."

- Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon tells Ferguson where to stick his history lessons.

"Would I get into a contract with that mob? Absolutely no chance. I wouldn't sell them a virus."

- And, later in the year, Ferguson suggests he remains somewhat reluctant to sell Ronaldo to Madrid.

Managers v Media

"If you get a bad defeat, a poor performance, then it's like a turkey shoot. But there's only one target and everyone is standing there facing you with a machine gun."

- Steve Staunton reminiscing fondly about his Republic of Ireland post-match press conferences with gun-toting reporters.

"You journalists sit there, drinking, and expect us to win games 6-0?! Incredible! We cannot land on the moon overnight! You are clueless idiot journalists! You want me to book the hotel in South Africa now?! Christ! That's it from me! Over and out!"

- Berti Vogts calmly explaining to the Azerbaijani press that it'll take a bit of time before the national team are world beaters.

"You **** ****** **** **** ******* ****** **** **** ******. **** off." (Repeat to fade)

- Just a very, very brief ****ing excerpt from Joe Kinnear's celebrated press ****ing conference at Newcastle.

Jose's jibes

"Maybe in the philosophy of a loser this was a great season."

- A heartfelt salute from Jose Mourinho to his successor at Chelsea, Avram Grant.

"Arsenal are unique: their coach hasn't won anything for years, but he's an idol."

- He may be in Italy now, but there's still a place in Mourinho's heart for Arsene Wenger.

"I've won a lot in my career. He has won a Super Cup and another little cup. Probably he needs to change his mentality, but maybe he is too old to do it."

- He's fond, too, of Juventus manager Claudio Ranieri.

Modesty

"I don't go into the technicals - I just pick it up and throw."

- Rory Delap explaining, without going in to a great amount of detail, how he chucks the ball as far as he does.

"The basics of what Barcelona did were very similar to our own, from the warm-ups to their set-piece work and passing drills. The only difference is the Barcelona lads could control the ball."

- Bradford City manager Stuart McCall after watching a pre-season Barcelona training session.

"People said I was pitting my wits against Sir Alex Ferguson but it is like using a water pistol to take on a machine gun."

- Birmingham manager Alex McLeish after his side was mowed down at Old Trafford.

Terrace tunes

"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy."

- West Ham fans giving Paul Ince a warm welcome home to Upton Park.

"You don't know what you're doing."

- West Brom fans to a loved up supporter who had his half-time marriage proposal accepted by his girlfriend.

"You should have banked with The Woolwich."

- Derby fans giving some financial advice to their Newcastle counterparts, whose team is sponsored by Northern Rock.

Managerial merriment

"We're in shitty waters. It is a lot smellier than muddy waters - and it's clingy. Something has got to change. The difference between our reserve team and our first team is not a lot."

- Reading's Steve Coppell on the joys of last season's relegation battle.

"I get blamed for everything, from global warming to high petrol prices."

- Liverpool's Rafa Benitez who, incidentally, was also responsible for the credit crunch.

"I don't actually like people. I'm a loner and if I had my way I'd just walk my dogs every day, never talk to anyone and then die."

- Portsmouth's Tony "Mr Happy" Adams.