NETHERLANDS v IRELAND: There's no trouble in the Dutch camp - just yet - Mary Hannigan writes, but things aren't running like clockwork either
Marcel has been an Ajax season-ticket holder since 1981, so he's seen a few decent players in his time. He puts his hand to his face, shakes his head and apologises. "I am sorry," he says, "but Frank Stapleton was not one of them," referring to Stapleton's brief sojourn in Amsterdam in the twilight of his career.
He quickly adds, for fear he has insulted the Irish visitors to the Amsterdam hotel in which he works, that he did see Stapleton play well once for Ajax: away to Dundalk in the European Cup. "I was there," he says, proudly, "1987, I think, my first trip to Ireland."
He's assured that Stapleton won't be lining out at the Amsterdam Arena this evening, although the way manager Brian Kerr has been losing players over the past fortnight Stapleton might have been closer to an international return than he might have thought.
Marcel, though, is still puzzled by the Irish squad list that appeared in the Dutch papers. Again he apologises, but, despite being an avid watcher of English football, he admits he is not familiar with many of the names.
"Where is Roy Keane? Is he playing for Ireland again?"
Well, yes, but not this week.
"Another argument?"
No, just holidays.
"Aah. But the argument is over?"
(Listen, don't start. Anyway, you're Dutch, you're hardly in any bloody position to talk about internal footballing squabbles.) Yes, the argument's over.
While we wait for a Dutch journalist to return a call, Marcel insists on continuing to reveal the varied nature of his football-supporting career.
"I am Ajax-crazy," he says, "but not - how do I say it? - mental.
"And I have an English team, champions this season," he says, throwing his arms in the air.
Arsenal?
"No, no - Norwich City. I bought a brick at Carrow Road."
Sorry?
"A brick, in the wall of the new stand, when you go there look for it, it says 'Marcel'.
"And I have a Scottish team, Celtic! That means all three of my clubs are champions - it has been a very good year."
A vintage one for Marcel, but the problematic leg of the quadruple, he admits, is Holland winning Euro 2004.
His response to the question "Can they do it?" is much the same as that given by any Dutch supporter: "We have the players, but I don't know if we have the mentality."
That, Dutch soccer writer Ramon Min agrees, has been the problem since Holland last realised their potential, when they won the 1988 the European Championship. Since then there has been a succession of disappointments, with "trouble in the camp" often a contributory cause.
"Luckily there has been no trouble at all this time, but it was certainly the case before," Min says. "It is something that haunts Dutch football, over and over. And even when there is no trouble it is a question that keeps popping up. Are there any internal problems? How is such a player getting on with such a player? Will there be trouble when the tournament starts? It is always there.
"As of now the only problem that I can see might develop over the next couple of weeks is Clarence Seedorf. The Dutch supporters have always had a love/hate relationship with him because he has been magnificent at club level - he has won three Champions Leagues - but never fulfils his potential for Holland.
"He feels he is one of the best players we have ever produced, but it is time for him to use his feet and not his mouth. We heard him say the other day that he wanted to play behind the front two, not on the right of midfield, that he would be very disappointed if he didn't get that position. But we all know that Rafael van der Vaart is probably going to play there. If he does, then we will have to wait to see how Seedorf responds."
Despite all that "underachieving", as Min put it, since 1988, he says expectations among Dutch supporters on the eve of Euro 2004 are as lofty as ever. "The least that is demanded is a place in the last four, but many would feel, with the quality of players we have in this squad, that we should have a good chance of winning the tournament.
"There is frustration amongst our supporters - we lost on penalties to Italy in Euro 2000 when we felt we should have won the tournament - but there is always enthusiasm and expectation at this stage, a new fire, lots of positivism. If we fail to collect the prize again then there will be plenty of criticism after, but, for now, there is a great support for the team. You will see all the orange shirts in Portugal.
"Because these players missed out on the 2002 World Cup there is a determination to give their very best this time," Min adds, "and for some players - like Jaap Stam, Frank de Boer, Edgar Davids and Marc Overmars - it will be their last chance."
While the attacking options available to coach Dick Advocaat are bewildering, he is likely, says Min, to persist with the partnership between Ruud van Nistelrooy and Patrick Kluivert, including in tonight's game against Ireland. So far the pairing simply hasn't worked, as van Nistelrooy acknowledged yesterday.
"It's hard to say a reason why, but we have time to work on this," he said. "We want it to work and that's why we work hard on the pitch to achieve that."
"Nobody can really understand why they haven't clicked but," adds Min, "despite all the reports of there being a bad relationship between them, they are determined to make it work, they're putting a lot of effort into it.
"When we spoke to them in Lausanne yesterday they said that the game against Ireland was a new chance for them, that they would show the world they can play together."
Kenny Cunningham and co will hope it is a false promise, as will Fenerbahce's Pierre van Hooijdonk who, like Bayern Munich's Roy Makaay, would hope to profit from Advocaat giving up on the pairing.
"They are two quality strikers and everybody expects a lot from them," van Hooijdonk said. "If you say that in recent games they have not played fantastically with each other, I cannot deny it. But it's up to them to prove the critics wrong.
"It surprises me that they have not played well together because there is the potential for it to be a fantastic partnership. They have qualities that should make it work."
Van Nistelrooy, meanwhile, has been doing his best to dampen expectations at home, insisting that Holland's "struggle" to qualify - they needed to beat Scotland in the play-offs - should mean they are not regarded as one of the favourites for Euro 2004.
"In the group we had too many problems qualifying to put us among the favourites. France won all their eight games in qualifying, Italy will be dangerous, and the home team always play their best. For me we are an outsider in this tournament.
"We all can play football, we show that every time. Technically and tactically we are very good, but it's not only about that. We have to play as a team. You cannot play a game with 11 technical players. You have to find the right balance, and that's what we are working on now. But at this moment we are looking good physically. We're working hard, feeling fine and the system is looking better every day."
But just when a member of the current squad attempts to lower expectations, along comes a former Dutch great to turn up the heat once again. "The 1988 championship is the only tournament we ever won, and whenever a big championship comes about everybody is talking about it," said Arnold Muhren, a member of that 1988 team. "I look back on 1988 with great memories, but it is about time that another Dutch team won a major tournament."
For most of Holland's Barcelona contingent - Davids, Kluivert, Overmars, Phillip Cocu and Michael Reiziger - there is also the small matter of trying to impress sufficiently in Portugal to attract contracts from new clubs as lucrative as the ones that have just expired at the Nou Camp.
Tottenham attempted to sign Davids during the January transfer window last season and have been linked again with the midfielder in recent weeks, but, it is believed, he wanted to discover the identity of the new Spurs manager before making a decision about moving to north London.
Whether Robbie Keane and Gary Doherty, not to mention Spurs and Irish assistant coach Chris Hughton, will still be at White Hart Lane should Davids turn down other offers to join Spurs remains to be seen.
When Keane and Doherty left London for Amsterdam on Thursday they were still managerless at club level. When they turned on their mobile phones at Schiphol airport they learnt, by text message, that Jacques Santini had been appointed. Keane was unforthcoming when asked for a reaction to the news, but he must surely hope that he won't be on his travels once again.
Marcel would like Keane to join Celtic, or Norwich if he'd prefer to stay in England. It's probably doubtful that they could afford him, but he'd at least have the perk of being able to see Marcel's brick-in-the-wall every time he dropped in to Carrow Road.
Marcel's very proud of his brick, but he'd be marginally prouder if Holland won Euro 2004. That, he says, "would make it a very nice year".