A week to forget for Mark Kennedy and Keith O'Neill, both of whom made Four Four Two's top five of "the worst passers of a ball in English football" (based on "passing accuracy" statistics from their first five games of the season). "A less-than-impressive passes-to-team-mate ratio suggests that O'Neill would have trouble passing the salt," said the magazine of our Keith (who also tore his hamstring in training and will miss the next seven weeks of the season). Miaow.

The statistics made nicer reading for Denis Irwin last week - he made a club record 50th Champions League appearance for Manchester United against PSV Eindhoven. Hats off. Not a bad week either for Irwin's former international team-mate David Kelly who scored three goals in two games for Sheffield United while down at White Hart Lane the crowd, as is their habit these days, shouted "shooooot" when Stephen Carr approached the edge of the box against Derby on Saturday. He shot, he scored.