Remember Mickey Evans? No? Granted, if you'd gone out to make a cup of tea five minutes from the end of the Republic's 1997 game against Romania in Dublin and only returned on the final whistle you would have missed Evans' entire international career. (Statto alert: he came on as a sub in the 85th minute to win his one and only cap). He was named in the next squad but broke his cheek bone in training and was never called up again. Why are we telling you this? Well, we spotted that Evans (above), had scored twice for Plymouth in a 2-1 win at York on Saturday. So?
Okay, we'll admit it - sympathy got the better of us. Only last week the striker was sold by Bristol Rovers to Plymouth for £30,000, just seven months after they had paid West Brom £250,000 for him (note: WBA had paid Southampton £750,000 for his services, which yielded precisely six goals in 62 league appearances - all of which put a strain on the club-player relationship).
Evans left Rovers with this tribute from chairman Geoff Dunford ringing in his ears: "He was one of the worst transfers this club has ever made". Lovely.
Bloomers for Flowers?
It's been a troubled old season for Tim Flowers, who's missed a considerable chunk of it through injury. The Leicester City goalkeeper suffers from arthritis and was told by a specialist last week that he may need a hip replacement operation some time in the next 10 years. How bad is the problem? "He put in his report that I've got hips like Barbara Cartland," revealed Flowersie. A gloomy diagnosis, not least because Barbara Cartland and her hips died nine months ago.
Scraping the bottom . . .
Spotted on BBC Sport Online last week: a feature on strange sports memorabilia collecting. Our favourite examples? One was the businessman on a tour of Old Trafford who noticed a blob of chewing-gum stuck to the floor of the home dug-out. Yes, as you feared - he bent down, peeled it off the ground and pocketed it . . . all because he assumed it had been lovingly spat there by Alex Ferguson.
Seaman's snooze factor
The Soccernet website has just published the results of a survey they carried out on behalf of Burton Menswear with the intention of discovering the general likes and dislikes of your average English football fan. Ready?
One in three Barnsley fans would like to visit Thailand. One in 12 Birmingham fans thinks tattoos are a sign of class. Three per cent of Reading fans take sandwiches to the match. Eighteen per cent of Northampton fans quite like the music they play in supermarkets. Eighteen per cent of Chesterfield fans think Armani is a kind of liqueur. And, the disturbing one: the most popular duvet cover in the Arsenal club shop is the one with David Seaman and his ponytail on it. (Yes, we think they actually paid people to conduct this survey).
Farewell, thinker Taylor
Who said: "To be really happy, we must throw our hearts over the bar and hope that our bodies will follow"? Graham Taylor (right), of course. Little wonder, then, that Planet Football was in mourning last week when the man who has oft filled our `quotes of the week' section announced his intention to retire from management at the end of the season. As if losing Kevin Keegan wasn't bad enough.
