"There's going to be four or five teams battling for the top six spots."

- Chris Waddle (Private Eye).

"If Leverkusen beat Deportivo they're through with Deportivo. If they draw and we draw, we're through. If they win and we win, they are through. We can lose the game and go through, win it and go out. It's strange, amazing."

- Arsene Wenger clarifies the permutations in Arsenal's Champions League group. A bit.

"My mother was over here for two months but now she is back in Ecuador. If I get a Scottish girlfriend, she will not need to visit again, I will have someone else to look after me."

- Hibernians' Ulises de la Cruz.

"I cannot leave for the moment as there is the World Cup and England has asked me to win it."

- Sven Goran Eriksson.

"Our schedule has been so hard this season, it's disgusting. Sometimes I hate football."

- Bayern Munich's laugh-a-minute goalie Oliver Kahn.