While most of us respond to your average transfer gossip story with a raised eyebrow and a cry of "what next - Zidane to Cowdenbeath?", when you're at the centre of some of the stories they can, Martin Rowlands will tell you, be somewhat less entertaining - after all, it's your future they're gossiping about.
Over the past few months the Brentford midfielder and Irish under-21 international has regularly picked up his newspaper to be informed that he was Charltonbound "any day now", then he was about to be sent to Coventry before, most recently, learning that Leicester was his next stop. Predictably, when he pulled on his jersey for his first game of the season last weekend it still bore the Brentford crest. The Leicester rumour does, at least, appear to have some substance after Peter Taylor, Martin O'Neill's successor at Filbert Street, made no secret of his admiration for the player. His biggest fan, though, is his own boss, the rather eccentric former Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, who slapped a "£3 million plus" price tag on his head, declaring he was "good enough to go all the way".
So, Griffin Park remains home, for now. Not that Rowlands is too concerned - he is just 21 and has only been playing league football since Brentford signed him from Farnborough Town for £45,000 two summers ago.
"Of course it was a bit frustrating hearing all those stories and nothing coming of them but I'm happy enough for now. I signed a one-year extension to my contract in May so I've another three years at Brentford, but I'd still like to go on and further my career - and get a bit more security, too.
"I'm no different to every other footballer, I want to play at the highest level and I want to play senior international football, that's a big ambition for me. To be honest, though, I don't really think I'll get my chance at senior level if I'm still playing Division Two football - a move would help me get into the full squad."
While every club dreams of doing "a Bradford" or "a Charlton" and making the Premiership against the odds, Rowlands doubts Brentford have that potential, despite Noades' grandiose ambitions. And so, unlike Mark Kinsella and Dean Kiely, he is resigned to the belief only a transfer will see him fulfil his own dream of playing alongside Bergkamp, Beckham, Barthez and Co.
"It would be nice to say Brentford could go right to the top but I'm not sure that they can. At the minute I think it would have to be a move to a bigger club that would get me to a higher position, but there's no reason we can't go up this year. We feel we can get into the play-offs, definitely - that's our main aim; after that we'll take it from there."
Does he plan on seeing out his three-year contract? "We'll wait and see what happens. If a club comes in and Brentford accept the offer - and it's right for me as well - then that'll be fine, but at the minute I'm just going to work hard and hopefully get a nice move somewhere." (Take that as a No, then).
Since his arrival at Griffin Park, Rowlands has endeared himself to those who occupy the terraces (he was voted Player of the Year after his first full season). Cast your eyes over this website assessment of the player by a supporter: "Ridiculously talented, Martin is one of the best players to have graced the hallowed turf of Griffin Park. He is just about a perfect midfielder - tough in the tackle, gracious on the ball, the best dribbler I have witnessed, a complete passer, with an eye for goal, there aren't enough superlatives for him. Why do we love him? I'm not going to even bother, I'd take up too much space."
We can take it, then, that they like him. "He runs through the middle and he knows how to dribble, Martin Rowlands," they sing, but they've given up on the "Rowlands for England" chant since he declared for the Republic of Ireland (his mother's parents hail from Wexford), making his competitive international debut for the under-21s at home to Macedonia in June 1999. He hopes to add to his collection of caps next Friday when the under-21s open their UEFA Championship qualifying campaign away to Holland. After that? According to the newspapers, he'll be moving to . . . take your pick.