Ever lie awake at night wondering why the legendary Maracana stadium in Brazil is crumbling? No, nor have we, but we're going to tell you why anyway. Luis Eduardo Cardoso, an engineer brought in to examine the ailing structure, revealed last week that the source of the problem is, well, wee.

"The supporters . . . could not be bothered queuing up to go to the toilets. From a very young age, Brazilians learn they can relieve themselves anywhere," he explained. "The damage is so bad that double the initial investment will be needed to remedy the concrete structure. The ammonia from the urine acts with amazing speed. It penetrates the concrete and acts like an acid on the steel girders." So costly is the damage the Brazilian FA will have to spend more than a penny to fix it. Sorry.