THE Premiership soap opera resumes after a week off our screens with the plot boiling up. Kevin, having supposedly run off with the title had been caught by Fergie, who is now getting jittery as the big day approaches.
Meanwhile nice Ray's last chance to escape from the basement is dependent on Alan and Big Ron doing him a favour, while Dave the vicar could find himself caught in an embarrassing situation.
Basically, the stuttering leaders Manchester United cannot afford to slip up at home to Nottingham Forest tomorrow with Newcastle at Leeds on Monday and playing their game in hand at Forest on Thursday.
At the other end QPR need to win both their remaining games, beginning with West Ham at home today, to stand any chance of staying up. And then they need other teams to falter. QPR are four points adrift of, in ascending order, Manchester City, Coventry and Southampton, all on 34 points with two games left. If QPR lose today, Ray Wilkins's team go down.
Manchester City visit Aston Villa, with Francis Lee insisting again that Alan Ball's job is safe, while Coventry have a tough game at Wimbledon. Southampton, whose chances of staying up may depend on Le God, go to Bolton, whose chances of staying up depend on a miracle. Lose or draw today, they go down.
Meanwhile, back at the top of the table, Steve Stone is the latest Geordie boy to threaten Newcastle's Premiership title dream.
The Nottingham Forest winger said: "I love Newcastle and on occasions I've been back there I've paid money to watch Kevin Keegan's team. I know how much it all means to the fans up there.
But I'm getting a bit fed up with people keep mentioning that Forest have a big say in where the title will end up.
"Professionally speaking, the only disappointment is that we can't win it ourselves. The next best thing for us now would be to beat both the top two and get back into Europe next season. That would bring a lot of satisfaction - and then I can cry for Newcastle afterwards."
Both runners in this season's two-horse race can total 82 points by each winning their remaining fixtures. Forest were the last team to win a Premiership game at Old Trafford, in December 1994 when goals by Stuart Pearce and Stan Collymore clinched a 2-1 success.
But it was their defensive fortress which frustrated United most of all and Footballer of the Year Eric Cantona, who scored his side's only goal that day, has never forgotten it. He told his former Auxerre coach Guy Roux ahead of a UEFA Cup-tie against Forest in October: "They are the meanest team in the Premier League."
United are hoping Phil Neville and Denis Irwin will be fit after injuries disrupted their midweek international plans, but skipper Steve Bruce is still sidelined for the final home game of the season, although determined to prove his FA Cup final fitness in the big finish at Middlesbrough.
Derby will be promoted to the Premiership tomorrow if they win at home to third-placed Crystal Palace, who would find themselves favourites to go up should they win.
